Breakfast Letters: Leopard Bra

Breakfast Letters: Leopard Bra: We made an impromptu trip to San Marcos yesterday. My nephew who found a ride to Austin with my daughter, Lovey, after three days decided ...

Leopard Bra

We made an impromptu trip to San Marcos yesterday. My nephew who found a ride to Austin with my daughter, Lovey, after three days decided to return and needed a ride back, so we headed north. As I was glancing in my rearview mirror I saw a familiar, but long absent sight. He pulled closer and closer he moved to pass me and there right beside me was Horatio. Big events in Austin Bud?  High profile case? Joy ride? You heard I was last seen headed out of town and had to come check it out? Curiosity gnawed at me. Where was he going? Where had he been?

Let me break this next scene down for you, as I am sure the County officer who witnessed it saw it.

 Woman standing outside her vehicle across from Starbucks, no worry but curious.

Flashy Vector Blue Mustang pulls up beside her.  Skinny long haired guy gets out. Shirtless Hispanic looking guy gets out, tattoos,  carrying a bundle looks wrapped in plastic. White. Woman leans over into mustang, someone in backseat? Skinny guy approaches passenger side of grey car and hands something off. Woman hugs skinny guy. Shirtless guy and woman get in car. Mustang backs out and goes one way. Grey car backs out and goes another way.

Officer is trapped three cars back in line at Starbucks, no escape to either side. There are about 4 cars behind him he cannot back out.

Now I am sure if I were observing I would have assumed the same thing. This occurred to me right as soon as I looked over at the Starbucks line and saw him watching us as I backed out. The theatre in my mind replays the events and as I am about to pull out onto the Interstate I also realize the Mustang went North and I am headed South.  

“I bet we will be passed by the police or two on the way home”, I say. “Why?” Came the question back.  Think about what it just looked like we did, how you are dressed and what Daniel did as he handed Shaggy $20 for gas money. “oh…..”  They both said. “There was a County Constable in the line at Starbucks who watched the whole thing”.  Sure enough, we had mounted the Interstate and had managed to get about 4 miles before I spy the car in my mirror, Unmarked and moving fast. I check my speed, no need to help him out. I am doing about 72 in a cluster of other vehicles all doing the same speed. I drive. He pulls up just behind and to my left. Hangs there long enough to get a read on my plates and then moves on. As he moved away from us I said “and there he is.” Shaggy and my nephew were amazed that my prediction actually happened.  I just love an escapade.

As Shaggy and I were getting out of the car on an escapade earlier yesterday she stepped in some gum that someone had recently ejected from their mouth. I am sure you can imagine the retaliation that this inspired. 

No I have not spit my gum out of my mouth randomly on to the ground, ever. My mother taught me better. I am also sure that had she not the thought ever would have occurred to me to do so. I do not think it is harsh or unreasonable for the partially human thing who chewed and spat the gum out on to the ground that was then stepped on to be made to get on their hands and knees or belly and with their mouth have to chew the gum stepped on or not,  back from the ground and then be forced to chew it for an hour.

Sweetheart!! Wearing a leopard print bra is wonderful! 

It is cool you have one! How nice for your guy! However, we the other Ladies out here in your path do NOT wish to know you have one. We do NOT wish to see it through your shirt. We do not care you have giant baby feeding devices and they are incased in leopard print today. Oh and how cute your shoes match your bra!! Really???....... Did you just come from work?

And you, Miss I come from a foreign land and I can talk on my cell phone in a public waiting area in a loud voice for over 20 minutes.  Not one other human in that lobby/waiting area was on their phone. My daughter even had the courtesy of stepping outside to answer her phone. What? You believe you have special privileges? 

You do NOT.  I dealt with enough of your kind in Cali to know you are a rude and demanding people. I am sure you fail to realize this is TEXAS not Cali. Very very very different. I watched the expressions and looks of the rest of the humans who were becoming increasingly annoyed with your rudeness.  It was not hard to imagine what they were thinking because they were not even trying to hide it after a while.  Stop being rude and trying to draw attention to yourself so you can complain that everyone was staring at you!

Have any of you been to an Oakley Vault store? How about a Gap during shirt refolding?  I will leave you with this question. How many Oakley employees does it take to fold t-shirts in a store the size of my living room?

Since Lady Tamara’s income schedule does not coincide with that of the internet provider, TWC, spawn of Godzilla, I am off to make deposits and call TWC to regain internet service.  

Breakfast Letters: Egg hunts are violent?

Breakfast Letters: Egg hunts are violent?: My friends, I seem to be the victim of a cockroach situation. I live here for 3+ years and not a single one and now in 4 days I have seen ...

Egg hunts are violent?

My friends, I seem to be the victim of a cockroach situation. I live here for 3+ years and not a single one and now in 4 days I have seen three. Two of which had rolled over and were found twitching in the exact same location and orientation of their bodies, the third I came upon this morning meandering through my laundry room.  I am NOT happy. They were all three the same size and shape and color, UGLY! I do not know if they moved in with all the new neighbors or what exactly but there have been three new families move in. They are also building and constructing in all the vacant fields near here and the things have been displaced by that. Since I believe they are coming through the back door I shall sprinkle borax all around the door. Any other ideas? 

This is so not acceptable to me. Cause for me to move actually.  So does anyone know of a nice rental or an apartment? I can relocate.

I photographed an Easter egg hunt this weekend. My first and it was lovely. I had to decide which age group to go after and with much thought I chose 0-3 year olds.

 My challenges were over helpful parents but there was a 5 egg limit so I might get some great before and after shots and it would all be over in about 5 minutes. I walked the playing field getting a feel for it and chose my spot.  The children and their parental units were then allowed in to take up stations around the field. I was seated in the middle of a heavily egged area.  I was surrounded by children with baskets and the photo opportunities started to present themselves. Once the children relaxed and I smiled and laughed with them they became bold and curious. Some parents were just mild observers offering words of encouragement and cheer. Some parents were reliving their own egg hunts and were aggressively dragging their confused offspring from egg to egg. Their children had expressions of agony, terror and were unwilling to move about. The children of the relaxed parents were joyful, playful and shrieked with glee as they recovered an egg. 

 My next job was to then track down the parents of the children in the photos to get their names and ages. Shaggy was helping me so we really only had to hunt down 2. She is not a timid young woman but getting her to bravely question a parent about their child was beyond her scope. She is amazed they tell me anything. So am I. I had one negative experience with a male creature that appeared to have wandered into town form his winter hibernation in the Ozarks with three boys in tow. He was almost frightful looking. Mean and rough in appearance.  I introduced myself and explained and he looked past me and said “not interested”, which of course made no sense as a response to my statement. He had not bothered to even listen to what I had said. He thought I was one of those mall survey people or something. I looked at the one of the girls running the event and she looked very confused and I am sure my face mimicked hers. We both shrugged and grinned and I moved on to capture my next photo.

As we were waiting to chat with the commander of the Easter Egg event we watched an ambulance pull up and park. I looked at Shaggy and she looked at me. “Mom are they expecting violent outbreaks of egg hunting children? Fights in the dirt over claiming an egg?  Do these events usually get violent? 

Are they here for the children or should I expect to be defending myself against parents? I have never heard of egg hunts turning ugly. This is going to be good!!” 

I have 4 beautiful rose bushes in my front yard. I did not prune them back this year. They started to bloom. I cut them and brought them in the house where I am so I could enjoy them and their fragrance. They bloomed again. I cut again. They bloomed even more.

 I cut more and trimmed a bit. They grew even more.  I cut 11 two days ago and as Shaggy and I pulled intot he drive way yesterday she commented “MOM! Didn’t you just cut those yesterday? There are flowers all over the place! It is freaky Mom FREAKY!” Well yes it is freaky, but a beautiful freaky.  Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com wants about 8 more rose bushes so I can have some color and scent variety. Mmmmm I can smell them as a breeze blows through the window.

What will the breeze blow at you today?

The case if the Carya illinoinensis

I had an intense craving for pecan pie last night so off we went to the store. I bought a single serving slice of Southern Georgia Pecan Pie.

 I wonder did the pecans in that pie actually come from Georgia. I ate it when I got home in about three bites. This had me wondering on my walk this morning, about, what must be in a pecan, what is the nutritional value. What was in that little treasure that my body was screaming at me to eat?  When you listen your body will tell you what it wants to eat I remember from studies and notes and practical experience. So I looked it up.

Vitamin E lots of Vitamin E. This vitamin E offers neurological protection ( I need that).  They have several different forms of antioxidants found only in pecans. Gamma tocopherols found in vitamin E. Sounds like some sort of laser gun emittance .  Inhibit unwanted blood oxidation; we do not want this to happen, it is like rust in your blood. More antioxidant activity than any other tree nut.

They lower cholesterol and LDL cholesterol. Gluten free.

Here is a fun one. They aid in weight loss. I am moving to a pecan farm!  They may increase your metabolic rate and aid in the feeling of fullness after eating.  No sodium.  Dietary fiber, 19 vitamins and minerals including potassium and vitamin A. WOW!, B-1, Thiamin, Protein, and magnesium.

Very little saturated fat and  no trans-fat.

According to the Georgia Pecan Commission ; Pecans have an excellent nutritional profile. Sounds like a dating sight.

Facts to WOW and amaze your friends. (In case you are ever on Jeopardy or that other show in the taxi).

There are approximately 78 pecans in every pie.( It is a weight ratio thing.)

Pecans are the only nut trees native to America!  Well now how do you feel about Pecan Pie on our American Thanksgiving?

Georgia is the top Pecan producing state and has been since the 1800s.

Here is something to blow you away. There are over 500 varieties of Pecans.

Pecans are part of the hickory family.

The word Pecan is from the Algonquian word meaning "nut". Algonquians are Native to America. They were the welcoming committee for the Pilgrims.

President Thomas Jefferson was enamored by the flavor of pecans. He had trees imported from Louisiana to Montcello.

The Atlanta committee for the 1996 Olympics held in Atlanta chose Pecan wood for the handles of the torches that lit the bowl of flames!

I will leave you with one last fact. Nut is the root word of Nutrition.

Lady Tamara www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com is going back to the store for some pecans. She can make her own pie!

Breakfast Letters: $69 flight

Breakfast Letters: $69 flight: Southwest apparently knows I am/was looking for a flight out of here and fed me some ads claiming I could fly one way starting at $69. Who...

$69 flight

Southwest apparently knows I am/was looking for a flight out of here and fed me some ads claiming I could fly one way starting at $69. Whooot !!!! I immediately went in search of my cheap flight and low and behold if I am booking transportation in April it was very cheap.

 To try and fly out of here Monday night you would have thought I was buying an airplane and making a down payment. So you know where I went? I went nowhere. Nowhere is where I went. Maybe I should fly to Sacramento on a Monday and we just drive wherever and I fly back from Utah on a Thursday. Make it happen No.2

Remember the tea cup that shattered yesterday morning as I was making tea? I wondered if that would be an indication as to how my day was going to go. Well, here is what I learned. Shattered tea cups mean your water will be turned off. Not first thing in the morning, oh no. In the middle of the morning when you least expect it such as, the second right after you pump three globs of liquid soap into your hands and lather it up. 

Turn the faucet and ……no water. At first you feel shock, then confusion, dismay, anger, humor. I like it when I get to the humor part of a situation. Sometimes it is quickly sometimes it is not. I giggle as I recall an emergency bottle of water I keep in my closet. This seemed like an emergency to me. I then went on line to look for a phone number of the city water department. Guess what, there is not a phone number on their web site is. ( I want to interrupt us here for a moment and point something out. Do you see the sentence before this one that starts with Guess?  One that sounds like Yoda said it? That is a sentence correction form Microsoft. So if any of you are wondering where Yoda works….

it is at Microsoft.) There used to be but now they have a new web site and no phone number. Brilliant! I am again a wee bit fussed up but giggle. I do a facebook search. There is the phone number. I call. I have been terminated due to a balance of $29 carried over from January. This I thought was funny. I drive over to pay it. “I am current otherwise?”  “Yes ma’am, you were terminated from a past due amount.” She says. Are you all thinking what I am thinking?  How much again? Well $55 including the reconnect fee. Reconnect fee? I am thinking maybe I need this job. Water re-connector. I am imagining the water guy driving out to my house and getting out of a truck and with a huge pipe wrench turning it back on. I imagine him having to drive 20 miles out of his way to do this. 

My neighbors will be thrilled and beam with malicious glee. They will be in their homes doing a happy dance at my misfortune. (If you have been following these letters for the past couple years you will understand about my neighbors.) So I pay and  she looks at me and says “oh no ma’am it is $129.” Huh?? “oh no Ma’am yourself it is not. You told me not 5 minutes ago it was $55, you told me on the phone it was $55. She wants to argue with me. I increase the size of the smile on my face, ( yes I was smiling) take a deep breath and pause as I exhale. This gave her the moment she needed to panic. I looked down at the paper she is now franticly searching when her finger glides over my name twice. I realize she is confused. I told her she was looking at the wrong name. Try the one below where her finger was. We got through that only to have her apply the amount due not the amount over I wanted to pay forward. Again we step into panic. Never mind just process it like you have. No worries. “I will schedule it to be turned back on.” Thank you. I drive home it is 2.7 miles. There is no water guy at my house. There is no water truck in my hood. I walk in my house. Hear a gurgle and presto I have water. I had to pay an extra $24 to have some person enter 38 key strokes on a computer? Really?

Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com  will be looking for a job at the water company today.

What will you are doing? (Look Yoda struck again)