$69 flight

Southwest apparently knows I am/was looking for a flight out of here and fed me some ads claiming I could fly one way starting at $69. Whooot !!!! I immediately went in search of my cheap flight and low and behold if I am booking transportation in April it was very cheap.

 To try and fly out of here Monday night you would have thought I was buying an airplane and making a down payment. So you know where I went? I went nowhere. Nowhere is where I went. Maybe I should fly to Sacramento on a Monday and we just drive wherever and I fly back from Utah on a Thursday. Make it happen No.2

Remember the tea cup that shattered yesterday morning as I was making tea? I wondered if that would be an indication as to how my day was going to go. Well, here is what I learned. Shattered tea cups mean your water will be turned off. Not first thing in the morning, oh no. In the middle of the morning when you least expect it such as, the second right after you pump three globs of liquid soap into your hands and lather it up. 

Turn the faucet and ……no water. At first you feel shock, then confusion, dismay, anger, humor. I like it when I get to the humor part of a situation. Sometimes it is quickly sometimes it is not. I giggle as I recall an emergency bottle of water I keep in my closet. This seemed like an emergency to me. I then went on line to look for a phone number of the city water department. Guess what, there is not a phone number on their web site is. ( I want to interrupt us here for a moment and point something out. Do you see the sentence before this one that starts with Guess?  One that sounds like Yoda said it? That is a sentence correction form Microsoft. So if any of you are wondering where Yoda works….

it is at Microsoft.) There used to be but now they have a new web site and no phone number. Brilliant! I am again a wee bit fussed up but giggle. I do a facebook search. There is the phone number. I call. I have been terminated due to a balance of $29 carried over from January. This I thought was funny. I drive over to pay it. “I am current otherwise?”  “Yes ma’am, you were terminated from a past due amount.” She says. Are you all thinking what I am thinking?  How much again? Well $55 including the reconnect fee. Reconnect fee? I am thinking maybe I need this job. Water re-connector. I am imagining the water guy driving out to my house and getting out of a truck and with a huge pipe wrench turning it back on. I imagine him having to drive 20 miles out of his way to do this. 

My neighbors will be thrilled and beam with malicious glee. They will be in their homes doing a happy dance at my misfortune. (If you have been following these letters for the past couple years you will understand about my neighbors.) So I pay and  she looks at me and says “oh no ma’am it is $129.” Huh?? “oh no Ma’am yourself it is not. You told me not 5 minutes ago it was $55, you told me on the phone it was $55. She wants to argue with me. I increase the size of the smile on my face, ( yes I was smiling) take a deep breath and pause as I exhale. This gave her the moment she needed to panic. I looked down at the paper she is now franticly searching when her finger glides over my name twice. I realize she is confused. I told her she was looking at the wrong name. Try the one below where her finger was. We got through that only to have her apply the amount due not the amount over I wanted to pay forward. Again we step into panic. Never mind just process it like you have. No worries. “I will schedule it to be turned back on.” Thank you. I drive home it is 2.7 miles. There is no water guy at my house. There is no water truck in my hood. I walk in my house. Hear a gurgle and presto I have water. I had to pay an extra $24 to have some person enter 38 key strokes on a computer? Really?

Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com  will be looking for a job at the water company today.

What will you are doing? (Look Yoda struck again)