Mom is 80!

Today is Mothers 80^th birthday. 

She has plans to visit with some dear friends over lunch and attend her water aerobics class. She lives at a place where retired military officers, their wives, widows and widowers gather. Former Marines, Naval officers, Army and Air Force, many of these people are friends or have been stationed together at various places. They share some things in common. Mother has been invited to join a few and their cliques for meals. She claims she feels inadequate and uneducated. “Not smart” are her words and can contribute nothing witty to the conversations. She usually will not join them again. It is a wee bit sad to me, like watching your child go out and play and be rejected by other children.  Except she rejects them with an excuse that she is not smart enough to keep up and usually greets everyone but stays to herself. She does not drink so she is different. She is very very involved in her church so she is different. She does not have the same experiences as some of these people but she has experiences. She has mentioned to me on more than one occasion these past few weeks about how she feels. So my brother and I spent some time yesterday rehashing some ancient adventures from our point of view that caused her to have memories of adventures from her point of view, things she had forgotten.  She perked up a bit remembering that she had experiences too.  She admires that I can converse with just about anyone on any subject and keep up my end of the conversation. She wonders at how I know so many things knowing that I do not read the paper or pay attention to news channels. She recalls that school was a walk in the park for me and laments that I did not try harder knowing I could do better. How do I explain that sometimes grasping a concept fully and beyond the intended lesson and realizing no one else has is terrifying and makes me feel like a freak of nature? I would find myself ahead of the class and lesson and stop. My reply sent her head spinning and I could tell she was thinking she has known me all my life and yet does not know me. I have realized she does not even feel comfortably smart enough around me. I remembered that this is not the first time she has implied this.  Mother!  All this lack of self-confidence from the woman who was graduating college, involved with several on campus clubs, Queen of the May, planning her wedding, and who sewed her own lace covered wedding gown with a cathedral train

 and hand covered in satin about 82 tiny buttons. 

This from the woman who disobeyed dorm regulations and snuck out to watch my dad play basketball during the college championships and stayed overnight at the away game location instead of returning to the dorm while being dorm president!  These are some of the adventures that resurfaced yesterday. Happy Birthday Mom you have some great experiences!

Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com is off to deliver a trunk full of treasure to her local Goodwill.