Don't Make Me Sarah Connor You!

Stuck in traffic on a beautiful day. Light was red and I had been cruising, listening to One Republic, windows down just grooving or so I thought. I hear that loping sound a healthy older mustang can make so I looked over and who did I see? Granny and another Granny riding shotgun, windows are down and they are listening to Patsy Cline go walking after midnight. Their cool factor was off the charts! That is who I want to be when I grow up.

         

Here I am living all relaxed in my new flat not a giant cuckaraoacha in sight for months until today.

               
                                              Because no one really wants to see a cuckaroacha....

 I opened the cabinet under the sink in the guest bath and something black goes running scarring me to death. I go get the Termination spray. I go all Sarah Connor on the thing.


             
 There is no way it could have survived. I wait for the cupboard to dry from the poison saturation. I decide to clean my office and as I finish and am turning around guess what is crawling across the wall behind my desk. Yep. I am once again freaked and still not recovered from the last freak out in bathroom. I am about to think it is a different one when I realize this one is walking rather wonky. “Please GOD, let it be the same one.”

          
                                                   Wouldn't you rather see a cute kitten?

I was going to take a bath tonight but now…I am not so interested in a relaxing bath. I have had one of those bastards swimming in the tub with me before when I was 11 and it was extremely traumatic and I am still not recovered from it. So I grab the spray again and go after it soaking it in a hailstorm of poison. I captured it under a heavy glass jar and notified my son-in-law. He just left with the body in a bag. Now I am as jumpy as a cat………rocking chair……… you know.
               
             Baby goats really are sweet!

Last night was so long and I was constantly having the heebie-jeebies. My peaceful home is once again a haven for terror. It was a blissful 6 weeks and I almost had taken down my defenses. I apologize to all of you who must look upon me and my body’s coping method. I used to be beautiful. Back when my only terror was an abusive husband.

             
                                                       Baby Penguins are so peaceful.....

I have fought epic battles in many wars and I look it.  Did you know I have also been attacked in the shower by one of those bastards? Don’t ask about the day I was ambushed by a scorpion in my eye. My life is not for the weak or faint of heart.

Now where did I put that bottle of Ortho?