Gleeking

I am going to assume that this lady is not from here. I am going to step out on a limb and guess she is not even human or, her mother failed her, she had no mother, she has never used a public restroom. OK missy, let me lay it down for you. When you walk into a restroom and there are four stalls and one is empty and a person is standing there assume they are waiting. If unsure ask. By all means look into the empty stall and gasp at the horrific sight I did!  If you are at maximum capacity and cannot wait one moment longer please say so. I would not have minded you going ahead. We have all been there. But to enter into the first stall that becomes available as though you possess rights others of us will never know is WRONG! What did you think I was standing around in a Ladies room for? Did I look like the attendant to you? I was wearing couture! Those are NOT knock offs! They were real!!! I remained silent still believing it must have been an emergency for you right up to the moment when the next stall vacated and your mini you jumped in. Enough! I stepped in about .23 of a second after she stepped and we ended up blocking my daughters exit. “Mom?” The other child looked at me. I looked down on her. I was biting my inner lower lip so I would not laugh, she backed up and my daughter came out glaring at the youngster. She looked back up to me and stammered out…”uh….you were…..uh…..sorry”. I remained stoic and slammed the door.  I tried not to giggle. Neither at her plight nor her embarrassment, I wanted to giggle at the entire episode, the giggle that comes from the “I cannot believe this just happened” feeling. The, I better giggle or heads will roll kind of giggle. As I exited Shaggy shook her head and pointed to a stall. As I washed up she pointed to the exit door and shook her head. I was thinking the mother did not leave her child to the mercies of my wrath alone? (Not that I had wrath but she did not know that) There standing in the restaurant, down the hall was the mom and a son whom she had wrapped her arms around and was standing behind, Human Shield?  I walked past slowly and looked at her shaking my head; she backed up and looked terrified.  As we walked away Shaggy said “OK now mom”. I still wanted to giggle. I stopped turned and looked at her and said from about 20 feet away “how rude!” That was all.  Disappointed? Well can you imagine the look of horror on the woman’s face as she escorted her two children toward the door only to see that I was sitting at a table directly in her path toward the door facing her? I watched her for a moment as she hesitantly walked toward me and then smiled disarmingly and began a conversation with my child that had my head turned away from the little family as they hurried past.

SO there we were L and I cruising down the road when what to my wandering eye did appear? The Bat Bus/Van, Yep, a black bus/van with a huge Batman emblem painted on the hood and doors and back. Batman emblem etchings on the side windows and trailer hitch cover. If we had not been zooming by at mach 2 and him at mach 2 in the other direction I would have taken a photograph.

Shaggy and I pulled into the coffee queue and ordered her coffee. We were jamming out to Glee. “Mom! We are Gleeks!” yeah?... We pull up to the window and she looks at the coffee guy and declares he is not a Gleek. “Yes he is” …..”No mom he is not a Gleek”. The young man turns and says “Excuse me, I am sorry what?” We were trying to decide if you were a Gleek, I say you are and my daughter says no you are not.  “Gleek?” Yes we are Gleeking out to Glee music.  Are you a Gleek? The light comes on in his eyes….he giglges “ I watch, we watch Glee. We record it because we both work.” He stops, stares at us and then quickly adds….”my girlfriend and I , we watch it”.  We all laugh and as he hands us the coffee he says “Keep Gleeking Out!”

There I was, Lady Tamara, www.LairdOfLochaber.com  being driven through town and not even one person moved, nodded, removed their hat or acknowledged me. That phrase from Alice In Wonderland crept into my mind. The one the Queen of Hearts repeats…..”Off with their heads, Off with their heads”…..heehee  and on the heels of that visual the song This is Halloween creeps into my head, leading off with this verse performed by Marilyn  Manson;

 Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch

Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now

This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

…mmmmm….does Glee do a version of this song?

Have a gleeful day!

It is OK

When you screw up and are thoughtless or inconsiderate or selfish and you say “I am sorry” and I say “No worries it’s Ok” It is OK. Do NOT tell me “No, no it’s not Ok”. If I am saying it is OK it is OK. Do NOT look at me with downcast eyes and a pained expression, as though you were whipped, and insist it is not OK. I have already realized your ineptitude and either just do not care enough about you to let it hurt me or I forgive your clumsiness and have already ventured on. When you keep insisting, what do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you I am not ok? I am bloody angry? I think you are the biggest screw up, an ass, a moron, a complete and utter failure as a man? What do you want? Punish yourself if you must! Do NOT drag me into your whirlpool of disgust. However, if it will make you feel better flowers are always nice. Next time……BRING some!!!!

People!!! Horatio has an office in the building where our showroom is.  What does he do in there? Are there dead people in there?...secret labs analyzing DNA?...huge satellite tracking computers and servers?...I need to investigate this further.

This is for you Mr. Researcher of a family that is NOT yours. We did NOT change our name!!! If you will look our name has been the same since George. You!!!!!  People are the different ones. We have not died out!!! I am very much alive and I want to kick your sad little fanny and I say fanny because I assume you are a girl!!!! It is NOT ok!!! (See above)  Moved to Virginia and disappeared!  Really??? Maybe you should do some research in Sacramento Cali to see where we have been and what we have done!! NOT ok!!! Glad your gene pool went right at the Mason-Dixon and headed for Georgia!

Dude!!!! Lady Tamara   www.HighlandTitles.com does not speed walk her morning laps like some sort of Olympic hopeful. I stroll, I walk, I meander. I am doing it at a quicker pace for these morning jaunts but I am NOT attempting to win a triathalon! Here is a little advice….let the Lady set the pace. If I am off your pace than jog on or, slow it down to mine and proceed on a second lap around the hood at your pace. Walking fast and trying to get me to speed up will have the total opposite effect. If I am walking a bit slower than usual I may have a reason.  Adjust!  Sing it  Beyonce !

Other than that challenge it was a balmy, mist shrouded morning walk. 

I can hear rain outside even now.

Drive careful loved ones.

River Boat

I am not sure I have adapted to my new morning routine in all the ways I wanted before my first work week of the New Year starts. This fusses me up a wee bit and at the same time invigorates me. If you are thinking it must be challenging being me….it is. I have not gotten to spend the entire time ghost hunting that I wanted to this Holiday and that displeases me. But, maybe that means I still have plenty of Earth time left to pursue it.

Shags and I spent hours last night looking at Hogswart and then at alternate locations. Those people at Hogswart  are not dealing. Really? Who can spend $1700 just on 3 nights hotel for a park that from what I can tell consists of 1 restaurant, 4 shops, a walk through a castle and 2 rollercoasters?  Now she is dreaming of Hawaii. That will not happen either. So she became depressed and wanted to go nowhere. Then she suggested we drive to Florida, or Boston, or California. Then, maybe we should just rent a car and drive around. We looked at Myrtle Beach South Carolina and that could be fun. Seemed inexpensive right up until she realized it would be Hurricane season….hahaha. I suggested Dude ranch, I might as well have said lick gum off the pavement. River boat trip up the Mississppi on the American Queen, a paddle boat, sounded exciting to her until I discovered it was $4986 per person for 11 days.  

The challenge is on. I entered a South African dream vacation contest about 6 months ago. Maybe I will win that. When were they picking winners? I am sure the very wonderful thing would be to find a vacation package to Scotland. Shag does not share my enthusiasm for kilts and bagpipes or Scotch, besides airfare being $1300 per ticket.  Maybe I will swing by a travel agency today and grab some brochures for ideas. Ask about deals. I went to Costa Rica once on a deal my agent had just been made aware of.  I am Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com exotic places should be showering me with offers to come see them. What is wrong with people?

I am off to plan an adventure for us what are you doing today?

Which Tartan

We pulled up to a stop light and there before us was Horatio. I whispered Shags look…. Wow she whispers back. Our first sighting of the New Year, it was a moment of regard, we stared in bewildered silence.

I called my insurance company to have them send the latest copy of my policy so I could renew my car registration and we went over my policy and I managed to get 19.00 shaved off my payments. Yippee!! However I had only made a partial payment in December so my January payment due shocked me momentarily.  But in taking care of all of this and paying my other bills yesterday I was under the impression I had paid all the bills. I had a shock coming.  I received a message that the beloved man to whom I make my house payment had passed away. While I was managing this unbelief it hit me that I had not made the house payment.  This sent me into a dizzying state of panic.  On top of all of the strain re-arranging for a death brings I had added to it by not taking care of my responsibility.  There was panic in my disco. My inner anxious child wanted to jump in Charles and run over and drop it off. My, seldom heard from sense of reason, suggested to my child that perhaps we could do it in the morning and as a treat get a donut…..mmmm…we have not had one of those in a while. Well of course she jumped on that idea. So this morning we are off to pay the house payment.

I saw a discarded Christmas tree on the curb this morning. It was sad. Mine is still up and twinkling and looking very promising. I shall of course take it down after Twelfth night, which reminds me I need to buy a Kings cake on Friday.   I made one a few years ago and the children thought it was awful. I however thought it was much tastier than the store bought ones. I tried a couple of years ago to find a bakery who could do a real nice one but no one did. They referred me to the grocery stores.  Big sigh here…….

I am going to contact www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com  this morning and find out exactly which tartan is mine. I have seen one last year, two different ones last night.  Lady Tamara has Burns night supper coming up this year and I wish to be draped in the proper one. I also will need it for Tartan Day and I want a length of ribbon of it for the bouquet for the Alamo at the memorial event.  Maybe I can wear all of them. Dress like a quilt and include bits and pieces from all my kin.   I did not see any way to order any of it. But this I believe is the right one. Lovely.....

I can hear the trash truck down the street I must get my bin out to the curb.

Cheers!

Compatible

Monday I intend to go get my registration. Fail….I forgot my paperwork. Tuesday I intend to go and take care of my car registration and I have the paperwork. I call my mother to discuss our dinner plans and she asks what my day is like I am telling her. Meanwhile I have arrived at a car registration place and am sitting in the parking lot. She tells me City Hall will do car registration for free. I find this hard to believe so after she rings off I call City Hall. I am transferred to the water department because the city office has not a clue. Yes they do it but there is a charge. Fine….. all I need is my paperwork and proof of insurance. I go through my purse. No insurance. Bugger! I do not want to drive back home and back to city hall. So …… today is the third attempt. I should get it right. Does this sort of controlled chaos happen to anyone else?

Has anyone else seen that marriage proposal that went wrong at the UCLA Basketball game? I felt so bad for that young man. I felt bad for her. However….. You all knew there would be a however didn’t you? She could have said yes in public and then later after the game in private told him no, she could have slapped him before running out; she could have screamed and then run out. She looks like she understands the situation and even pauses to consider before she runs out. Maybe she was disappointed in the ring. She could have fixed that later also. She could have said yes and then asked him to ask her again in a more romantic setting if that was her issue. None of my marriage proposals were delivered in an “I have been dreaming of this my whole life” kind of way.  Only one was a total surprise and it did not happen with a ring being presented. What really gets me upset was the crowd reaction. The cruelty of the other males ( I will not call them men…EVER!!!!) is horrible and made an already awkward, humiliating experience even worse. Instead of rallying around their own kind they turn like a pack of dogs on him. It is disgusting. The hostess who caught them on film tried to smooth it over by claiming the girl just got camera shy. 

Here is a question that has plagued me since I call recall…..why is the soft fluffy side of flannel on the outside and the non-fluffy part on the inside of clothes that are made of flannel. It makes no sense to me. The fabric used to make sweat pants and hoogies puts the fluffy side on the inside why not flannel?

I watched the Quadrantid  Meteor  shower last night and saw one vague spark. I watched the skies as I walked this morning and saw nothing. This was supposed to be the best meteor shower of 2012. Uhmmm….. If that was it, we are going to all be sorely disappointed for the rest of the year. If I even see one brilliant flash I call it a good show but to see one vague flicker? At least I saw that. I will watch again tonight there may be some heroic stragglers.

Where is the cook? Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com

would like her eggs and Blueberry crisp now……Hello???? Maybe a couple sausages also. Hello??????

Is there an online dating service that hooks up women with Scottish men who do NOT want to move here? I signed up for e-harmony once years ago and do you know what? They never in four weeks found one single male compatible with me and then asked me to join for a fee after the 4 week trial period….Really?.....haha  No man compatible, maybe I am destined for more than just a mere mortal man. Maybe I am supposed to have a gaggle you know like an accessory, one for sporting events, one for opera, one for tropical vacations, one for crazy road trips, like jewelry or shoes.

Being a daughter of the KING of kings maybe, all I need is my Dad the KING.

Well, let’s go get Charles registered.

Lord Voldemort

The Headlines said “See what your horoscope predicts for 2012”. Really?  I am going to pass on that. I would much rather be surprised. Some things I may want a warning or a bit of a heads up about but for the most part surprise me.  Actually not really sure what I could or would do if I did have a warning. Well I suppose if we had known that every liquor store in town was going to be closed last night my favorite Shoe and J would have brought Mr. Beam with them.  I however had bought myself a very fine bottle of bourbon for Christmas and we sipped on that.  So for the past three days every liquor store in Texas was ordered to close. Who knew? Maybe the people who buy alcohol regularly? That did not include me or Shoe or J. I suppose that is a good thing…haha…

I downloaded my first book to my new nook. I went to Barnes and Noble online and headed straight for Dean Koontz Frankenstein series and purchased book 4. I am enjoying the nook, we shall call him Ian. I have been playing around with him and he is like taking my laptop without the weight and bulkiness. I need to find a cover for him, or a sleek sexy little case, something very James Bond or very Shakespeare.  I was hoping he would slide into my padfolio but that is not happening. So now I have a purse, padfolio, 2 phones and Ian to carry around. I need a James to carry it all (except the purse) around for me. I could step up my client circle with that kind of help. A sleek efficient assistant…yeah!

Back to Frankenstein I had read books 1-3 in December and January. They were a Christmas present. Then bought what I thought was book 4 but turned out to be book 5 back in May and have been waiting all this time. Apparently 2 years have passed in the book time line so I am ok.

I have given myself a budget of $10 for table decorations each month for Chamber Luncheons. I managed to stay in that budget for 2 months. I think December may have gone a little over that but I bought stuff yesterday and stayed right at about $13. Not bad. I would like to work with several flower shops in the area and get them to donate a few things now and again. I could put that on my agenda for this week or next. Which reminds me for some reason, that I need to schedule an art show at the bank so I will be calling Larry today?  

Yes, my neighbor was here on time this morning.

So I am at the local Goodwill store yesterday buying some raggedy old jeans for the centerpieces for the Luncheon tables when an employee of the facility rolls a cart right up to my leg and then stands there staring at me with that defiant ‘I am an angry teenage girl and I have no idea why” look. I turn to her as I realize she is there and ask her if she needs to get by me. She gives me that teenage girl “You are stupider than my little brother “look.  Having raised 4 daughters this look has no effect on me and I smile at her knowing this will raise her hackles. She huffs very loudly and takes up that “I am not going to move” stance that only teenage girls can perform. This performance begs for my full attention so I turn to face her. This shatters her a bit. While she is still unsettled from that aggressive response in me I take a step toward her. She backs up with her rolly cart. I smile; she looks a bit uncertain, her eyes are a little frightened, “Oh! Do you need to get by here?” I ask very cheerfully. She narrows her eyes at me ( I suppose that was to frighten me….haha) I still have not moved as she starts to move the cart again. She stops and glares at me smiling at her and then she points and huffs again.  “Oh you do need by…sure” I am beginning to think she cannot speak or hear. I move. She rolls her cart by and very clearly asks the cashier a question. “A simple excuse me would have been polite. She glares at me and storms off. I am thinking the child needs a teddy bear. (See photo of Teddy Bear)  Meanwhile I mentioned in the store that I am looking for a cow and this man overhears me and while I am standing in line he comes rushing over with a cow. Brilliant I thank him and he glows all over.  You would have thought that Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com  had bestowed upon him her favor for a tournament. “I shall win this tournament for you Lady”.

I just heard a very enthusiastic commercial for i-phone, i-pad and Android users. Like we are different from others, our choice of electronics set us apart, we are the elite. No longer does your address matter or the car you drive just what techie toys you have and use. We are the chosen, the golden people. We get things you mere muggles cannot and will not have. Since I have a nook and it was not mentioned I assume only the very wonderful, magical, way upper class people have those and the golden people cannot aspire to that so it is not mentioned. Like a Bentley commercial. You never hear one but they exist.

I heard a rumor that the LV people believe is Louis Vuitton is actually Lord Voldemort…..just saying I heard it….. 

Whip it

I am attempting to change my morning routine this year. I say attempting rather than am doing. This allows for changes or for me to later say “what was I thinking?” This will not allow the word failure to enter. This being said I awoke at my normal hour and was scheduled to walk for 20 minutes with a neighbor. This neighbor is a male and I inform you of this because he failed. Not that I am surprised by this he had a 30/70 chance. Men of my acquaintance tend to be failures. Dad and Grandfathers excluded. So are my high school biology and English teachers. I even allowed him a 5 minute late “oops”. He just showed up at my door dressed and ready for a walk. 45 minutes after our scheduled time. I am amused. He probably will not be late tomorrow. To be honest I enjoyed the alone time. No idle chatter just walking and breathing and posture and pacing. Enjoying the early morning the stars the light lavender brush strokes on the eastern horizon, the stars, the chimes that were hanging randomly on the occasional porch.

My cup of tea tastes a little friendlier after a brisk walk. Brings to mind the mornings I was up and pacing the beach when I lived on the island. Coming home to a pot of coffee, getting the girls ready for school, spending time in chats with GOD, miss those days.

I am still enjoying Christmas music. I have switched to total instrumental pieces. The tree is still twinkling and decorations are up. The best is still to come. Christmas is never over until Twelfth Night. It has been a tradition since I was little to celebrate the Christmas season through to Twelfth Night. I set out delicacies of almonds, dates and baklava for the Magi and carrots for their animals. They in turn leave gifts.

Shaggy was thrilled New Year’s day. Father Time and Baby New Year brought her a Glee calendar and golden earrings and bangles as they passed by.

So, Shaggy and I waltz into Starbucks and we order coffee and as we are waiting I notice in a corner, with his laptop open and his headphones on, a cup of coffee on the table and, a few papers scattered about is a man asleep. He is leaned back in the chair, his mouth fallen open and softly snoring. Does he have Narcolepsy? Is Starbucks coffee defective today? Is he a kidnapper and his victim drugged him and escaped? Is he a homeless guy who is just carrying about a broken laptop he opens and pretends to use and orders a cup of decaf so he can get some sleep in a warm friendly place?

Speaking of Starbucks, there are two locations near my house. Both are always busy. Where did people get their coffee from before? Dennys? Home? MacDonalds? Truckstops? I really have no idea. There is no excuse either for shoddy service or rude behavior or “put upon” attitudes. You work at a coffee shop. You can drink all the coffee you want. Strap on a smile and be happy to see people. They are there because they want a bit of Happiness, Pick me up, Joy in a cup. They are paying for it. Provide it!!!!!

One more thing…. Starbucks!!! Are you married to your bloody whipped cream? When I specify whip, bloody well put it on the coffee!!! A lot, a mega dose, I want to see whipped cream escaping out of the little sippy slot in the lid. Please inform Miss I am the Barista of this. I am paying you 4 times too much already for the bad attitude and, bitter coffee. A little more whip would wipe out the rest. I would get my coffee from somewhere else but Seattle’s Best left with Borders, Mac Donald’s does not use soy and neither does Sonic. I miss It’s a Grind. Maybe I should check into buying a franchise I know just the location for one

.

Car registration on my agenda today what is on yours? I am thinking Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com should have people to do this sort of thing for her.