The Non Mower

Going on a rant this morning, just giving you fair warning.

I am reading a devotional book entitled Spiritual Notes to Self. I have read it before, a few years ago. I could not quite remember it but as I started reading I remembered I did not enjoy the book. It was a bit depressing and lecturing and full of self-abuse.  Anyway I read on with it. Every now and again the author has a brief moment of spiritual note and comes across as a sun drop in a stormy cloud covered sky. Today was NOT one of those days. He was ranting about the wearing of white cotton does not make you spiritual….true. But he also says being nice does not make you spiritual. Spiritual---of or pertaining to the spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature. Uhm…..  I am giving the book a second chance because I was NOT on a pleasant personal journey when I read it the first time and why be judgmental of someone else’s personal journey because mine was h havoc. I still do not like it. I will continue the read because I started it and maybe that is what this is all about. The author may something brilliant tomorrow. I look forward to giving him the opportunity.

Second, dude if you tell me you will mow my lawn while I am gone and wink and smile like a little boy trying to please his Mom then I will believe you, not full-fledged trust but I will give you a chance.  I did make the comment to my daughter that the odds of you following through were very very slim however I did remain optimistic. I cancelled my regular visit from my landscaper to give you a chance. I came home and my weeds are over 2 feet tall. REALLY? You wander over here Saturday afternoon and offer my daughter a few flimsy excuses that not even she is buying. Do you really think we are stupid? As a man you have a responsibility to women.  Hint: Gentle competent strength is very sexy.  Incompetence and disrespect are not the message you should be getting across.  You are diminished in my eyes. Was that the objective? If so you succeeded and far exceeded my expectations.

To the man I complemented in regards to a behavior that was like my father. I take it back. You misunderstood the comment, you abused the meaning, you took a personal compliment and turned it into a banner you wave with what you perceive is justification. So unlike my father…..I am embarrassed to have ever let the words “my Dad” fall upon your ears. I pray you will forget. You are undeserving.

Third….. I was employed with job 1 and was doing my job. I also cared about the success of all my clients. You may be a business owner and feel you have certain rights and privileges above and beyond what you perceive as mere mortals but you are WRONG! We came to your business and asked if you had time to see us. You said yes. We gave you a brief presentation about our special project. You said you would consider it. Great!  We tried to follow up with email, phone calls, and another visit. We are a business too. What should have been more important to you was to believe we were potential customers. I only shop with the people who shop and support me. You ignored emails and phone calls. You were never there? You were always busy? Always with a client? You would tell your flunky to tell us to come back you were busy? This happened three times on three projects for job1. It happened again when I was employed with job2. Let me tell you what it is called. DISRESPECT!  Here are the results of your lack of respect. On my team were 7 women. You were the topic of conversation (not in a good way). That is 7 lost customers or shall we say revenue?  Now, I have 3 daughters and a mother and friends  I told of how you a local business were disrespectful. They each have… we could say 4 friends they told about how you were disrespectful. The 7 ladies on the team have mothers and sisters and friends and daughters and each of them have friends with mothers and sisters and daughters. Now, there were four ladies who sat near our department who overheard the tales of your disrespect to us. They have friends and mothers and sisters. We all live in this area. We all grew up in the area. We were NOT some fly by night people who do not care about our clients or potential clients. We were not some nameless faceless money grubbing corporation who just wants your money. We do not live on the other side of town and this was NOT just a job. I sought that job out with the objective of helping my neighbors who own local business to support my community to be a genuine part of your success. I created opportunities in my job to do this. You encountered potential customers and you blew it. How much revenue did you lose?    Think about it…. There are 5 of us and at $40 a bottle for make-up that alone is $200 you threw away every three months. Not to mention lipsticks and blush and powder and the recommendations from us to all of our friends. 7 Women not shopping there was how much revenue? $280.  Had you just responded to an email or phone call I would have said nothing.  Plenty of people have told me “No Tamara I am not interested in this opportunity today”.  I respect these business owners. There are 3 flowers shops in my community two have done business with me and I do business with them. The third I do not.  Just so you know…..   

Lady Tamara  www.HighlandTitles.com was giving  Armani all her love for make-up. However he does not love my old skin and it is time to change over to old lady make-up at Elizabeth Arden.

Who do you support? 

Stop bad singing

Abouowchoo…Abouowchoo…..abouowwwwwwchooooo…Ok  people. The lyrics are about you. What you are singing sounds like sneezing. It is NOT good music. The rest of you people!!!! Just because a song is played on the radio does not mean it is good music. Do not down load it. Do not support the singer or producer or record company for putting bad noise out there. What the bloody hell is an abouowchoooo? Well it is easy to see why he left you. Here is a wee little hint sister…. When singing anything that ends with a t and is followed by a word starting with you do NOT say the t. About you, without you, torment you….try singing it abou you, withou you ….. we will hear the t no need to say it. I never ever wish to hear that awful travesty of a song again!! EVER!

Ok home builder mega giant. STOP!!!!!!!! Ripping up the woodland area was so wrong. Building 126 more homes is NOT ok. I live way out here because no one else does. Get it? I do not wish to be in suburbia I do NOT need to identify myself by my subdivision, who else lives here or how many. I do NOT traffic clogging up my road. You people that work 60 minutes away on the other side of town and bought a home over here. This is your decision. Do not inconvenience me because you want to live an hour from where you work. Then you get all fed up with the traffic and seek alternate routes home that now have you tracking down my little country road and I cannot even get out of my own neighborhood. You wanted to live off of I 35 so now deal with your consequences of that stupidity somewhere else!! Please for the love of whatever TV reality show you love go live off of 281 near Boerne..REALLY!!!!! There is a plethora of land by Canyon Lake with beat up old trailers parked on them. Go buy that and clean that up and build your substandard homes. People want to drive a long distance to work that will solve the problem.

Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com has decided to move to Rhode Island and live in a light house. She will have 3 cats, 2 dogs and 2 horses. The total population of her village will be no more than 300. She will paint great seascapes and eat apples.  There will be no bad music abouowchoooooo. Joshua Bell will be welcome at all times and may consider it his sanctuary. 

Panty Line

I opened the fridge and got out a vanilla yogurt; I layered it in a bowl with some granola, added some mace and mixed.  I then went to get the honey and there was none. I was like a crazed Mother Hubbard tearing through my cupboards. Now I am looking at what should have been a delicious treat and it tastes like bitter sour cream with crunchy bits. I just had my third spoonful and I am NOT eating it.

Yes, please show me photos of overly skinny, fake breasted, tanned, toned, young women on a beach at a resort to inspire me to want to go there. REALLY?????  Show me an empty beach, luxurious rooms, well prepared food, fine wines, solitude. However…..now that I think about it, being surrounded by beautiful women will keep the dogs in a pack and away from me, might even prove to be an interesting show. I can sit back, relax, and watch the hunt. This could work.

Imagine my surprise! I am ghost hunting this weekend, as usual. I am looking through Find A Grave at all cemeteries in a certain county for all family members who may be there, and there are over 76. I am cross referencing with two other sites when I come across two initials C.L. and the last name Max. In parenthesis it says ( H.o. R.E.) dates of birth and death are blank, lovely…code! I skip it and go to the rest. I will come back to it. Further on I find a grave R.E.Max (w.o. C.L.) dates of birth and death are blank, I have no R.E. Max. I keep going.  I finish up and of course this has led to a few puzzles along the way. So I jump in and start solving. I am looking and looking for a C.L. Max. I find a copy of a birth certificate which gives me a name. I google and I get over a thousand hits all with one thing in common, the name of a funeral home, Max Funeral Parlor.  Lo and behold there is a photo of the owner alive and well and ….oh look! There as his lovely Vice President Ruth Evelyn Max! They live in Ravenclaw and the name of the cemetery is Ravenclaw Rest. They are the only funeral facility in town. They are NOT dead. They have a plot picked out and gravestone already set just needing dates. But wait there is more….. There is an ad on the google search page right next to all the C.L. Max hits called Humanoid. Things that make me go...hmmmm

Chica!!!! You are a very pretty girl. You have wonderful hair and a lovely shapely figure.  Loose the panties or get a sausage casing.  You looked like several link of sausage. Your breasts were trapped by a bra a size too small, jumping to a little curve of the rib cage narrowing at your waist over your hips and screeching to a halt at the top of your panty line which looks as though they may be two or even three sizes too small. A bulge immediately under the top panty line and then we can see that they, the panties, are about to be eaten by your butt near the top and there below the bottom of the panty as it is being swallowed by your butt is a bulge of butt cheek. We are a restaurant and this was not attractive!!! Or appetizing. Do you not have a full length mirror? Was there not one at the store where you bought the clingy grey dress? Do you live alone? Was there no mother or father to help you?  If I was not imprisoned between four other people and a wall I would have whisked you to the Sandbox and pointed these things out to you. Women! Other women do NOT approve of your panty lines!! EVER!!! Men need only to imagine the panty line or lack of. They are not supposed to be allowed to see them. EVER!!!! I know some of them like it. It is a bondage fantasy…feed their fantasy in the bedroom not in a restaurant!

The results of the Haggis hunt have come in and Lady Tamarawww.LochaberHighlandEstates.com will not be going to Scotland, nor did she win a bag of Haggis flavored crisps, nor a Scotsman Calender.

Well, I must be off to contact Bo he has not turned in his registration form yet for The Business Expo. Are you registered?

Mr left

There has been some very unsettling news about my job. I will just say that I am fussed up a wee bit and ptsd  is very debilitating. I keep flitting between sheer panic, intense excitement and total shut down. 

I really feel great about early morning meetings. 7:30 to be exact however they interfere with my breakfast letters.  So now you know why there has been none. Next week may not be much better. I am going out of town on business. I will view this as a challenge. Oh yes…I am feeling much better about it now.

My personal banker was retelling her tale of her encounter with my right to us the other day while we were at the bank. Apparently he pulled up in a hot little sports car in front of her. His license plate said mr. right. She of course was thrilled because she had been looking for him for several years. Her future life played before her eyes, she was deciding vera wang or Oscar de la renta wedding gown when the light went green and he just drove off without even a wave. Apparently not her Mr. right. I had an encounter in a mall in san jose many years ago with my Mr. right. It lasted about 38 seconds. It was intense and I can still see his face. But then he is not with me so I suppose he was really not my mr. right.  I have had too many mr.lefts to ever want to look for a right ever again so…..if I am going to find one it will have to be because we crashed into each other….haha

My cat has just attacked the butterfly’s umbilical chord. He never did that before.

Well……I have some linked-in studding to do…..i will become master of its functionality today…woooohhht!!!!!!!

Lady tamarahttp://www.highlandtitles.com will be in social media classes all next week  be ye warned I will soon be everywhere….bwahahahahahah

Leopold

My favorite part of these letters is picking the font and color. I love the script ones but I am concerned they may not be easy to read for some.

I neglected (that word sounds harsh) to set my alarm on Monday and when I did awake and I realized it was dark I convinced myself that It was only about 4 and I still had 2 hours to sleep so …enjoy. I did. When I awoke the second time it was 7:38. I set the alarm last night. I went on a wonderful morning stroll, without the human I was walking with. Should I leave a note on his truck? I have not even seen him. Could he be dead? Ill? Engaged in online dating? Hmmmm…..

I am out of tea for the third day. Coffee is great for road trips and frosty stops at 10 am, or iced and creamy on a warm, balmy, slow, morning in New Orleans. Or leisurely rests at 3 on a hot Louisiana afternoon…..still…….mules clopping by with a carriage of tourists, saxophone playing on a corner up the street, the daytime teenage vampires talking quietly amongst themselves… I am sipping on what is supposed to be white chocolate mocha flavored coffee. Not sure that describes it. There is also a coconut macaroon flavor; that one does taste like coconuts.

I did some ghost hunting over the weekend; chased some of my mother’s people, her mother to be exact. They were not war heroes of the Civil War, either side. They were not veterans of the Rebellion. They have been in this country since 1705. They lived in Berkshire area of England, not far from Windsor Castle. I have gotten all the way to 1550. No idea where they were before that. 

I watched Kate and Leopold last night and I want to know…where is my Leopold?  Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com wants a Leopold Duke of Albany (well he does not have to be the Duke of Albany but I want a Leopold).  I am not a swooner of Hugh Jackman but I must say…. He is very sexy as Leopold which tells me it is not only his looks but his actions and morals. He has integrity. He is a gentleman.

I am going to get ready for my day and I will be looking for Leopold. Who are you searching for?

Maybe he does not recognize me…should I change my haircolor?.......wear glasses?..... dress in red?.....

Plate light

Can I just say Homemade (not in a package) blueberry oatmeal is the best! Especially after and early morning walk in the brisk chilly air. Sprinkle it with a few flax seeds for some added texture..mmmm.

I was the lucky recipient of a ticket last night. Why you ask? Well, because the little tiny light above the license plate on the rear of my car was burned out. How was I supposed to know that you ask? Well that is what I asked officer Smedley. And do you know what his “professional” opinion was? “Well…” Yep and that was it. That is what he said…”Well…” I looked at him and said “exactly!” He was a very flustered and nervous policeman. He was stammering and stuttering and words were not coming when he opened his mouth to speak. It was very eerie. Like maybe he was a clone or the Borg or one of those “creation” people from Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein series. You know from the batches created in New Orleans that go awry. Maybe it was because I was calm and relaxed and not freaked out and that freaked him out.  He walked up to my window and claimed my registration was expired. Really?.... Well as you and I both know I took care of that on the 4^th. So I smiled and informed him that NO it was not, he said yes it was and pointed his little flashlight right at the sticker and there to his chagrin was written the date 12-12. Did you just get that he demanded. Now of course in my head I am thinking “yes, why yes I did. I whipped it out of the sticker machine in my backseat and slapped it up there just 35 seconds ago.” I take a breath to weaken the giggle and tell him no. That is not good enough for him. He demands in a shaky voice ( I am sure he was attempting authority not 14 year old boy asking a 15 year old girl out on a date voice) to know when. Not that this is his business mind you. I have a current one and that is all he needs to know, but he is drowning, so I tell him I got it on the 4^th. Well he mumbles and I say “2 weeks ago”. He shakes his head no and then looks at his watch and then says “maybe”. Maybe??? Maybe what?  He then wants to see my driver’s license and insurance.  I hand them over he looks them over extensively. He then shoves the insurance back at me claiming it is expired. Now I know very well that it is not,  it expires 2-12 and I had to  present a current one in order to register my car. I already have the new one that expires 8-12. I put that one back in my wallet and pull the exact same one out of the glove box and hand it to him.  These are expired he claims.  I sigh, that frustrated girl sigh, the one we reserve for boys who are being stupid.  “No they are not. I could not have registered my car with an expired insurance paper.”  He shoves the insurance card and me and points with his little flashlight at the date and there in black on white it clearly says 2-12.  Oh he says. Oh? Really? Just oh? “I am going to run your license. Remain here.” Like I am going to drive away? Run off? Have Scotty beam me up?  Dash off Batman and run it. Well I am sure he ran it through not only city, county but probably state. Homeland Security is probably running a thorough check on me as I write this. Interpol is looking at me via satellite. He wrote me a ticket and advised me to be early for court.  Fix the light and bring the receipt.  Really??  I do not know how much this fine will be. Since I have a negative balance in the bank I figured it does not matter anyway.  My court date, Valentine’s day. Somehow this seems so appropriate.

Did he not know whom he pulled over?

I am Lady Tamara!www.HighlandTitles.com

Maybe he did and that is why he was so flustered. Bloody good this title served me then!

My advice to you ….check the little light above your license plate and be sure it is NOT burned out!

Ms. Rudenheimer

Hey you other Ghost hunters thank you for admitting you do not put your findings online. That is so helpful to the rest of us wading through the true and untrue, guesses, assumptions, deliberate misleading’s, myth and legends. We will continue to propagate the good and the bad so the you are reaping what you are so hard trying not to sow. Some of us out here actually have facts we are sharing, we have in our possession Family Bibles you wish you could find, Hand written family trees, letters, photos….But you are assuming we are making it up because we share it.  Thank you also for making it a true ghost hunt. I seriously should think about paying the extra monies and opening the rest of the world for exploration of records.  Really old parish records should be free online to one and all and easy to access. Please list the church’s original name and all of it’s name changes location changes.  I would love to stumble upon an old trunk filled with photos and letters and documents and put it all out there for public use. Why keep things secret?

My walking partner has flaked on me without a word. Freak!

SO there I was in line at my local grocery store looking over the chewing gum choices when Scagolla Rudenheimer charges the cashier and slaps all four of her items down on the conveyor belt with  a look of satisfaction and a challenging glare in her eyes. It was my turn. I had one little item and I was holding it. The man in front of me was just reaching into his pocket for his wallet so there was no need for me to move up. I turned my head from the gum display and my jaw dropped (luckily I caught it) but, I did not catch the “oh Hell no she just did not!” that slipped from my lips apparently loud enough for her to hear. She froze. I turned toward her with a wicked little smile and stepped forward. She was still frozen. Just as I am contemplating going all Vampire on her the hapless cahier directs her attention toward the woman who has still refused to look at me or move. The woman grabs her wallet does not speak to the cashier pays for her items and practically runs out the exit. Still not looking directly at me but half way looking over her shoulder as if she thinks I will follow. The cashier is looking confused and worried as though she feels it is her fault the woman was behaving oddly. I smile a cheerful hello and interject “She cut in front of me in line… I think she is in a hurry”.  A huge smile looks back at me and a cheerful and relieved “OH!”  Good times….good times.

L and I are at a local auto dealership waiting to speak with the manager. We are strolling the lobby/waiting area putting together our dream car when we stop and pause to watch an advertisement on the TV screen about a truck pulling a log. There is an elderly man standing a few paces away from me texting on his phone and he looks upset. He stops texting, looks at me as though I might be able to read through the back of his phone and comprehend what the miniature text says. I cannot even read the text on my phone without my glasses, please! He gives me a scathing undeserved glare and storms off.  I giggle and ask “Did the wife just find out about your mistress or were the diamonds in the bracelet you left her at lunch too small?” He did not hear me but, the salesman at his desk next to me must have for, he looks at the man and then at me and smiles. I wink.

How… does a Chinese restaurant run out of Chow Mein? Hello?...... Chow Mein…..really? Yes this happened to me. I was getting my daughter some take away food when I am told they are out of Chow Mein. Crazy!!!! I got beef and broccoli instead.  

Pajamarama Party at the Schertz Library with local author Jennifer Salyer and her illustrator Adam Salyer. Great fun!

Horatio went rushing past me on I-35.     Crime scene!

Where are you rushing to today? Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com, has a 2:00 meeting to work on the Business Expo and a date with Sherlock Holmes and the very sexy Dr. Watson.