I just found an email I had been sent from online
pharmacy with the subject line that says… use your new penis as long as you
like…
WHAT THE HELL???
I do not have one of those, nor do I want one. How
did this slip through my heavily guarded castle doors? It should have gone to
spam land not my inbox.
Mother lives on what she calls the Texas floor of her
building. I suppose because it has a few Fiesta Posters that makes it so. Or
maybe it is the Fiesta floor. My father bought a painting while we lived in
France that he fell in love with. It is a corner of a city street done in oils.
It is mostly dark with splashes of red and yellow and shutters in a bright
green. It appears to have been painted from the view through a rain splashed
window. Mother hung this painting in the hall leading to her door. She decided
one day she wanted the painting in her home not in the hall so she had been
looking for a Texas themed replacement. I had a painting done by a friend of
hers hanging in my powder room of a live oak tree and bluebonnets. There is no
room in my new home for this painting so I suggested giving it back to her. I
brought it over last night and as I am walking down the hall with it and a
little old lady stops me and says “I’ll buy it right now how much?” huh??? I
stop and smile. She again says “I’ll buy it right now how much?” It is not for
sale it belongs to my mother. She smiles and says as she totters off “If you
change your mind….”
Several more feet down the hall on my way to the
elevator I come across a herd of about 9 people of assorted ages and they all
just stop and stare; some stopping in mid-sentence and all at the same time
causing me a small amount of distress. Is my shirt inside out, my pants on
backwards, a bird nesting in my hair, a snake wrapped around my neck? I smile
and give them a cheerful “Good Evening” and walk on. A few mumbled hi and hello
but they still were staring. I round a corner and head straight for a mirror I
must have applied my lipstick to my forehead, a bugger is dropping from my
nose, something is amiss. No I look fine, normal, nothing freakishly out of
place.
When I get to Mothers home she is sitting outside in
the setting sun warming up because she is freezing. The temperature in her home
is 84. She decides later as we are trying to find law and order on the TV that
RAW wrestling is the open scenario for her show, that they are setting the
stage for a murder in the locker room.
NO Mother this is wrestling. She was
actually arguing with me. As she went to her room in search of the schedule I
flip the channel over to the real law and order. She notices the change when
she comes back and asks if I have decided to watch something else. I giggle
(silently in my head) as Elliot appears on screen and she is startled, but
recovers quickly and says “that must have been one of those other detective
shows.” Ok Mom.
I had read yesterday in a religious leader’s blog as
he was trying his best to help his readers cope and understand the shootings in
Aurora. He said people make choices to do evil. GOD abhors evil. It occurred to
me later that morning as I was trying to wrap my head around his not so
inspiring comments that he made GOD sound like he was unaware of what was about
to happen and what did happen. GOD who created everything including the way a
dog wags its tail upon our returning home that then causes us to smile and love
the dog and then we pet the animal and scratch its ears which cause the animal
to become fonder of us. This GOD was not unaware. This incident did not
surprise him. He made GOD sound like Zeus who sits on Mount Olympus with no
concern for the plight of men. I believe this religious leader has a different
GOD than I do. I will not stop following his blog because sometimes he has some
interesting insights.
That is all I will say about that.
I was in whole foods yesterday checking out with my
assortment of exotic cheeses when a manager was announcing a phone call for
produce. I had been listening to him all through the store paging and
announcing. He sounded like the caller
at a race track. You know the voice that says Lucy Bell is coming up on the
outside; Frankenbeen has dropped back behind Fluffybum who is in the lead, yeah
that guy. I told him this and he laughed and said yes I try, sometimes it feels
like I am calling a race. …and it’s produce on the inside, wine and beer right
behind, here comes floral making her move in the turn……
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