I have not written a rant in a while but I have been living in a Roadrunner comedy and I am Wile E Coyote. Things have been falling on my head, exploding around me and everything from A.C.M.E. is defective.
Let me start with the two male creatures at the local grocery store. The two on the lift, the two who are subcontracted by the contractor from where, the parking lot of Home Depot? I live in Texas you bumbleheads. I have since 1974 I understand enough Tex-Mex to know what you said. My guess is I am slightly older than you which means I deserve respect. Would you talk like that to your Grandmother, aunt, daughter, Mother? Guess what? I am a Grandmother, aunt, daughter and mother. I am also some-one's sister.
I will next move on to the female creature at the same grocery store who cashed me out. I greeted you with a friendly "Good Morning Miss Lily" and then you slammed my groceries around. What the bloody hell did my bread and conditioner do to you? For that matter what did I do to you? Oh and now because some lazy, uneducated miscreant tapes a coupon on the wrong bottle you look at me as though I am attempting to steal your purse. It is 50 cents!! It is conditioner. I needed it. I do not care about the bloody coupon. "If there is a problem with the coupon do not use it" I tell her. "They are taped all over the various bottles of shampoo and conditioner right over there." She glares at me. WTF???? "NO, it is fine!" She hisses. I am a female, I know what that means. The female bagging my things slinks off looking a bit scared. I gently pick up my things and turn toward her. I can only assume she did not like being called Miss Lily so, I say "Thank you Miss Lily" smile cheerfully and walk away. I have always greeted people who serve me in some way either as Miss (insert their name if I know it) or Mommie if I do not. It is respect. Maybe I should have said "Thanks ho".
Yesterday a bird, duck, buzzard or pterodactyl deposited a load of shite on my car. (Yes Pam I said shite!!!) Then a miracle from GOD appears on my facebook page. It says... WHENEVER A BIRD SHITS ON MY CAR, I EAT A PLATE OF SCRAMBLED EGGS ON MY FRONT PORCH, JUST TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF. This had me laughing all day. All day. Apparently not one of my 500 friends found this funny.
Last night at about 10:30 I am making the rounds to lock the doors when a black ground beetle crawls under the door. I stomp it, smash it, stomp it some more then being overly tired and fatigued I toddle off to bed. I get up this morning to pick up the carcass and throw it away and it is gone. I am sure neither the cats nor the dog ate it. So, either it survived my attack or it's comrades came and hauled it off. Either scenario is NOT good.
The reason I am the grocery store this early was because at 6:45 AM I emptied the cat litter. At 6:46 AM I realize I have no litter to replace it. Who does that??
D Trump does not like the butts of the Kardashians or J Lo?
He dislikes firm round butts?
This made top of the fold news. Really?? Who cares about his taste in females? Is that news worthy? Are any of you men reading this going to be influenced by D Trumps opinion? If so STOP reading this now!! If he wants to date stick people he can. Do it D!! You wear a red tie that makes you look like a V-jj. I think that says it all. Nothing about a red tie says power to me it says 'Look I am a woman!! But power on little man. Wear your red tie. I can only assume your dislike of the curve of a bottom stems from the size of your package. But, to be honest this is good news and good to know. I have no fear of your Suaron Eye gazing in my direction.
This has been helpful. I must now take my contraband conditioner and wash my hair.
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