Leopard Bra

We made an impromptu trip to San Marcos yesterday. My nephew who found a ride to Austin with my daughter, Lovey, after three days decided to return and needed a ride back, so we headed north. As I was glancing in my rearview mirror I saw a familiar, but long absent sight. He pulled closer and closer he moved to pass me and there right beside me was Horatio. Big events in Austin Bud?  High profile case? Joy ride? You heard I was last seen headed out of town and had to come check it out? Curiosity gnawed at me. Where was he going? Where had he been?

Let me break this next scene down for you, as I am sure the County officer who witnessed it saw it.

 Woman standing outside her vehicle across from Starbucks, no worry but curious.

Flashy Vector Blue Mustang pulls up beside her.  Skinny long haired guy gets out. Shirtless Hispanic looking guy gets out, tattoos,  carrying a bundle looks wrapped in plastic. White. Woman leans over into mustang, someone in backseat? Skinny guy approaches passenger side of grey car and hands something off. Woman hugs skinny guy. Shirtless guy and woman get in car. Mustang backs out and goes one way. Grey car backs out and goes another way.

Officer is trapped three cars back in line at Starbucks, no escape to either side. There are about 4 cars behind him he cannot back out.

Now I am sure if I were observing I would have assumed the same thing. This occurred to me right as soon as I looked over at the Starbucks line and saw him watching us as I backed out. The theatre in my mind replays the events and as I am about to pull out onto the Interstate I also realize the Mustang went North and I am headed South.  

“I bet we will be passed by the police or two on the way home”, I say. “Why?” Came the question back.  Think about what it just looked like we did, how you are dressed and what Daniel did as he handed Shaggy $20 for gas money. “oh…..”  They both said. “There was a County Constable in the line at Starbucks who watched the whole thing”.  Sure enough, we had mounted the Interstate and had managed to get about 4 miles before I spy the car in my mirror, Unmarked and moving fast. I check my speed, no need to help him out. I am doing about 72 in a cluster of other vehicles all doing the same speed. I drive. He pulls up just behind and to my left. Hangs there long enough to get a read on my plates and then moves on. As he moved away from us I said “and there he is.” Shaggy and my nephew were amazed that my prediction actually happened.  I just love an escapade.

As Shaggy and I were getting out of the car on an escapade earlier yesterday she stepped in some gum that someone had recently ejected from their mouth. I am sure you can imagine the retaliation that this inspired. 

No I have not spit my gum out of my mouth randomly on to the ground, ever. My mother taught me better. I am also sure that had she not the thought ever would have occurred to me to do so. I do not think it is harsh or unreasonable for the partially human thing who chewed and spat the gum out on to the ground that was then stepped on to be made to get on their hands and knees or belly and with their mouth have to chew the gum stepped on or not,  back from the ground and then be forced to chew it for an hour.

Sweetheart!! Wearing a leopard print bra is wonderful! 

It is cool you have one! How nice for your guy! However, we the other Ladies out here in your path do NOT wish to know you have one. We do NOT wish to see it through your shirt. We do not care you have giant baby feeding devices and they are incased in leopard print today. Oh and how cute your shoes match your bra!! Really???....... Did you just come from work?

And you, Miss I come from a foreign land and I can talk on my cell phone in a public waiting area in a loud voice for over 20 minutes.  Not one other human in that lobby/waiting area was on their phone. My daughter even had the courtesy of stepping outside to answer her phone. What? You believe you have special privileges? 

You do NOT.  I dealt with enough of your kind in Cali to know you are a rude and demanding people. I am sure you fail to realize this is TEXAS not Cali. Very very very different. I watched the expressions and looks of the rest of the humans who were becoming increasingly annoyed with your rudeness.  It was not hard to imagine what they were thinking because they were not even trying to hide it after a while.  Stop being rude and trying to draw attention to yourself so you can complain that everyone was staring at you!

Have any of you been to an Oakley Vault store? How about a Gap during shirt refolding?  I will leave you with this question. How many Oakley employees does it take to fold t-shirts in a store the size of my living room?

Since Lady Tamara’s income schedule does not coincide with that of the internet provider, TWC, spawn of Godzilla, I am off to make deposits and call TWC to regain internet service.