Leaving Las Vegas

How likely does this sound coming from a 22 year old who is leaving Las Vegas. 

“Mom our flight was canceled we will be flying into to San Antonio today.” I then asked for the real version. You know the one where they missed their flight.

 Apparently they were to fly out at about 6 or so and they had a plane delay so they got to Dallas and had missed their connecting flight and slept in Dallas. Their luggage went to Austin they will be getting into San Antonio later this morning and I have to drive them to Austin. Not what was on my agenda for Tuesday but it sounds like an adventure. There are things that I need to do for clients, committees and commitments I have made. Or so I thought. GOD the creator of the universe has other ideas for how my day shall pass. I will be stepping through the wardrobe today,

 waking up in Oz,

 taking a ring to Mordor. 

Now that I have thought about it, it has already begun.

  I turned on the oven to toast a piece of the banana bread I made on Sunday. I had forgotten that some had spilled into the oven and I was to have bought oven cleaner and cleaned it up.

 Smoke is now streaming from my kitchen. I am a wee bit surprised and then I remember the spilled bread. I go into the kitchen to turn off the oven when I notice through the window in the oven door flames all over the bottom of the oven.

 I put out the flames and more smoke is pouring into my home. I open doors and turn on fans and make a mental note to purchase oven cleaner this morning.

When I return from my walk I will tell you of the adventure I had there yesterday. It was a forest of creatures. There were large black slugs oozing their way across the path.

We encountered a centipede the size of Rhode Island. 

Deer glared at us from behind tall grass and trees. A huge hawk watched us from atop an ancient Live Oak. A gathering of buzzards stared at us from a scraggly tree. 

Every now and again we would catch the sickly smell of death on a breeze. Rabbits cajoled along beside us on the path near the creek. It reminded me of the scene in the movie Excalibur when Merlin first takes Arthur to spend a night in the forest. It is right after he has drawn the sword. Today we encountered no such beasts; just a few birds and the rabbits again.

On another note…. Sister!!! Really??? You had to wear a black tank top, white booty shorts and clunky white stilettos to walk across the street with your toddler son in tow to get to the dollar store. At what point did that seem right to you?   You could barely walk in those shoes. It was comical and yet I felt sorry for you. Practice sister practice, lots and lots more practice. You have to own the shoes. You were allowing them to own you! Heel toe, heel toe. Walk in them. You looked like a prostitute with achy feet. The effect was NOT glamorous which is what you were going for based on the rest of your chosen outfit. This is a small village not Polk Street. Perhaps a nice pair of sandals would have done you better service.

My bloody flat smells like burnt toast!! As does my hair, my curtains, my pillows and everything else! Lighting candles!!!

Cheers!