There we were cruising along on what we thought were backroads of Mississippi. It was not interstate but neither was it backroads. It was a four lane divided stretch of fabulous road and though we were seeing Mississippi we were not seeing "Mississippi" so we stopped at a little country gas station/store and asked to buy a map. The woman behind the counter asked us what we were looking for. Mississippi we said. She answered "You found it!".
We stopped at another station and bought a map. There were black lines, slashed lines, dotted lines, blue lines, red lines with only a few of them marked as to what they were. So I said too bad this is not an app maybe I could pinch it and spread it out so we could see it better as I was pretending to enlarge the app. Seamus becomes hysterical and accuses me of trying to enlarge a paper map. Did he miss my comment?
Seamus is not happy with my music choices which included a mix of everything but death metal and country. I am providing a mix of all types of tunes but not today he wants to listen to wretched Neil Diamond wail on in a live concert. That lasted about 11 minutes and now we drive on in silence. I cannot live this way. I have to have a musical background to my day. I am dying and screaming silently as I wither like a slug under salt. I start looking for dragons and before long I am seeing them as they hide among the trees disguised as Kudzu. I point them out, Seamus does not see them. I now have to ask ..."are you not a fan of Peter Pan?" Yes, he replies. Peter Pan never grew up and wore pointy green shoes that curled up at the toes. WHAT!!!! That is all he got from that story? No wonder he cannot see the dragons.
We stop at yet another gas station and ask for directions to Lincoln Lake. The woman looks out the window for a moment and then says "I think it is that way". Uh.... Thanx??
Lunch rolls around and we decide to eat. Sheamus suggests tacos. I snap my head around and look at him like he has sprouted a horse head. "This ain't Texas son!!! This is Mississippi! I did not drive all this way to eat a bloody taco!!" We drive on. He is not bouncing back very well from the taco let down so I take over ( I am so not a leader!!!) I steer him into a parking a lot which contains a Wendy's, an Italian place with a giant tomato, a Subway and The Tokyo. We park and as we are approaching Tokyo ( I am thinking this is still Mississippi and yes everyone who wants Japanese food travels to Mississippi!!!) I have decided I will eat 2 egg rolls and pork friend rice. Sheamus is dreaming of a Teriyaki Burger(???).
I spy the Crawfish Festival inside!!! Whooot!!!!! We break left and enter. SO wonderful! Sheamus orders crawfish etouffe and I get a crawfish quesadilla. ( Yeah if I fold it in half it will be a taco....shut up!!) This quesadilla comes out looking like the possessed shrimp cocktail from Beetlejuice.
It was at one time two tortillas that are cut like a pie into slices. The tortilla is dark green, very dark green, unnaturally dark green like dried seaweed dark green. In the middle is a shredded heap of dark green leafy vegetable of some type. The plate scares me because I am sure at any moment it will come to life and fight back. It is however very tasty. Quesadilla - 0 me - 1.
At Lincoln Lake the first thing we see upon entering is a sign that says. BEWARE OF ALLIGATORS Oh joy, the park can fight back. We press on with a little less enthusiasm. We see 6 more warning signs and people in ski boats zooming around the lake with children precariously perched in inner tubes being drug around the lake at 32 miles an hour. We spy a bridge over a swamp area and curiosity getting the upper hand over my sense of safety we get out and approach the bridge. There are big bold letters BEWARE OF ALLIGATORS on a sign. I back up, look cautiously around and decide to get on the bridge. I charge up the wooden planks screaming a ferocious battle cry. Like the Scots charging the English before a battle. Except my battle cry probably sounded more like a girl squealing because Seamus is now laughing hysterically. There are no alligators.
We leave feeling a bit disappointed. But tomorrow is another day.
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