Back - Up Girlfriend

Is anyone else out there the “back-up” girlfriend?  Are you one by choice? Was it thrust upon you? Or did you one day have the curtain torn away and you realized that after 20 years and several different and repeat relationships he never ever ever made you his first choice?

At first I was unaware of what was happening. I had moved on. After several years he found me and attempted to make amends for what he had done. I was gracious and sweet and he moved on. He made contact again after a broken relationship. We lived far apart and I was steady, gracious and kind again and again and again. Not once did he ever ask if I would move closer to him. Not once did he make any attempt to garner, cultivate or rekindle a relationship. I sailed through my life always being there to reassure him, to tell him I still cared for him. Women came and went from him. Some going quietly others wreaking havoc and devastation during and after their departure and each time I was there as a band aid. 

Maybe I am a trigger for his addictions. Maybe I am a gift to him from GOD. He needed me or someone like me. Maybe I am the addiction, absolution, requiem for him.

I don’t want to appear to be cruel or mean spirited here. I am not being selfish but I am going to let go of you. I am NOT your back up girlfriend. 

This is not fair for her, your current love. How can you possibly fully face her and involve yourself in her if you are partially turned toward me?  

I wish you love with someone else.

 All four of you.