A crazy woman in a minivan (big
surprise) attempted to kill us a few days ago. She was not paying attention to
traffic, not signaling and guess what on the phone. Yesterday I am spinning off
of the highway at my exit which is a 50MPH zone, which I was doing because of
the physics thing; the bank of the curb the size of my car, blah, blah, blah….
I see a huge SUV waiting to turn out of an alley leading from the gym. You know
how sometimes you can just tell a vehicle and its operator are about to do
stupid? There is no vehicle behind me, clear for days. About 30 feet from where
she will be turning is a yield sign. A large red triangle, you have seen them.
They mean: to give way. The yield sign will be for her. I start slowing down in
anticipation of the stupid. Keep in mind I am Captaining a slightly smaller
version of the 1977 Lincoln Towncar and he is made of good old Detroit Steel. Stopping
or maneuvering will be like that scene out of Contraband. Sure enough after
several moments that ate up pavement for me she makes her move, pulling out in
front of me. Downshift, brakes, horn. She does not look up, she does not stop,
she does not move, she does not speed up. Charles shudders with the effort to
slow down so quickly. As I get right up on her aft end I realize it is NOT a
she it is a he and he is on the phone! Bloody meathead has probably pumped
about 2 quarts too much testosterone into his system at the gym and there is
not a drop of blood left in his head because it is all in his overworked
muscles which are quickly developing lactic acid thereby forcing more blood from
his tiny, miniscule brain impairing his ability to function. He is probably one
of those free weight pumping fools who does not pause on the lift, he speed
lifts. He wants bulk not strength.
I have a request for me. Airbrush
make-up from Dior! WOW!!!! That stuff is amazing!!
Loved Dark Shadows!!! Tim and Johnny
and Helena and Michelle and well the whole cast was wonderful!!!!!
One issue!!! Humans!!! You get there 10
minutes before the film starts. They have asked for years for you to turn off
your phones. Why don’t you just do it as soon as settle into your seat? Why
wait for them to ask? Why wait until the movie has started? Do you honestly
think they meant everyone but you? That was my question yesterday when the
female creature opened her phone minutes into the movie to turn it off. I said
out loud… “yes they meant everyone but you!” The lady behind me giggled her man
said “wow!”
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One more thing!!!! Mom’s of
teenagers just because I am in a theatre in the middle of the day by myself
with NO children does not make me a sex offender!!!! Glaring at me and
protectively covering your daughter while loudly asking your son if he is ok
freaked me out! No he is NOT ok you are his mom!!! Yes I raped the adorable
little man right there in a lit theatre in front of cell phone lady and the bulldog
looking woman behind me!!! And, yes I am going to play grab and squeeze with
your daughter when the lights go out!!! Your children were a bit freaked out by
your behavior too!!!
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