Barbie Abduction

I know I am quirky and believe men should show a lot more valor and honor and respect to a Lady. So here we go…. I had a buggy full of groceries I was loading into the back seat of my car because the trunk was full of treasures for others I was going to drop off at my local Goodwill store. There was a red truck parked next to me. I had 4 bags to go. 

As those of us who started driving sometime before 1986 know parking spaces used to be larger and I could have stayed by my car and he could have backed out without incident. No  he gets in, starts up his truck, I put a bag in, he puts the truck in park, foot still on the break, I put in another bag, he revs up the engine a bit to let me know he is backing out regardless if I move or not. I stop, move the buggy to the back of the car by the trunk, close the door and step out of his way. He backs out, I smile prepare to wave (as if to say no worries have a good day) thinking he was actually going to apologize for his rude behavior. He does not. He just drives off at about ½ warp. He was immediately demoted to non-female creature status.  What he should have done was wait or offer to help me finish. It is 98 outside and I am very sure I am old enough to be his mother. Speaking of his mother she has been demoted to having male creature like qualities, no female. She probably took him to Oklahoma for some of their famous couch burning parties. Hey Podunks move back to Oklahoma they miss you. And to show I harbor no ill will against your lack of manners I have a parting gift for you; you….may ….take…. Sophie and Lovey with you!!!! Happy couch burning!

There was some weird stuff going on at the gas station. As I stepped out of my car I spied a make-up sponge, the triangular kind girls use to apply foundation, cream blush and create a clean line over their eye shadow, laying on the ground near the pump. Did some girl miss the trash can? Was she snatched by Zombies? Kidnapped by her estranged husband? 

Strange, but it was about to get stranger. As I stepped back over to my car and reached for the door handle I see a tiny pink pump, Barbie pink, and Barbie sized. It is just lying there all alone. The sponge, the shoe, no Barbie, I am thinking abduction, Foul play of some sort, Elopement? She left the suds in the bucket and the clothes hanging out on the line. Should I notify the authorities, is it a crime scene, what? I would have removed my prints from the pump handle but then I may have wiped off the perps (hahaha I sound so Law and Orderish). Is it too late to report? Why did I assume it was Barbie who has been involved in foul play? Maybe it is a real human girl and those are the only existing clues? Maybe it was the revenge of a 6 year old brother...bwahahahahhahaa.....

I was just down stairs in the dining room taping a box to pack in and before I can start the tape starts peeling up. I re-tape and pack it up. Right as I am about to finish I can hear the crackling of tape coming off. I stick in the rats and their cage and the iron and tape it shut. I tap the tape back into place and it starts coming off at another place.

 I tap it down and still more crackling of tape coming off. I have now double wrapped the entire box in all directions with packing tape and as I started to climb the stairs there it was the crackling of tape peeling off. I am starting to freak out. This was a used box. Used for what I must now wonder….

Well, I remembered everything at the store but the tea. I could not find the gourmet cheese and so a very sweet gentleman offered me a few ideas about where to look for he had not seen a deli area either. He could tell I was lost or puzzled and he asked if he could help clarifying his offer with “it always difficult at first to shop in a new store in a new area.” He was getting his flirt on. When I replied I could not find the cheese he again clarified, “by cheese you mean Gruyere?” Who offers that choice up first? Most people would say cheddar or Brie. Curious little man and helpful, wanting to appear as a knight in armor. Had the store been more of a market, had we been on Mykonos, had there been a café I might have partaken in a cup of café con leche with him.

Lady Tamara  www.LairdOfLochaber.comwill be making a slight detour from her loft hunting this morning for tea. May I suggest the oatmeal with pure maple syrup and fresh pecans for breakfast? Delicious!