Where is the Mothership?

Contrary to what some of you may believe I do last not go out looking for stress, or chaos, or people to add to the ever growing massive stroke that is about to happen to me. After last night and the intense throbbing in my head and the frozen vertebrae in my back, the inability to breathe I have realized Mother is a major contributor to this impending disaster about to befall me. What do I do? My children believe this or not, hate to go over there with me because of how she treats me, the things she says to me without regard.  They hate the way I am incapable of functioning and the massive black hole my emotions slide into after being there. They refuse to go see her. Only Shaggy will go under duress mostly but partly because she believes she can protect me. She may sit in the other room and watch TV but she is paying attention to what and how Mother talks to me. I have to wonder…. She has lost all 4 of her granddaughters. She lost me 3 times. I came back only because of my Dad. I had a great job lined up in California but I passed it up to come back here for my Dad. He is gone. Mother is back to ….. Why does this woman hate me? I am not the one who came home drunk during her Sunday School Bridge parties and cussed her out in front of people. I am not the one…. Maybe it is not hate…maybe it is disappointment in me and what she dreamt for me. Uh!!!! Hello!!! Mother!!! Do not hate me for your shattered dreams!! Hate the GOD who has given me these crazy adventures. I relish my children’s fiascos, their trysts, their escapades. They are alive and they have felt every emotion available. I may not like some of this stuff that happens to them but it is colorful and a wonderful tapestry of various textures. In the end when they are dirty and dusty and need a moment they come to me, for just a minute,  I am their anchor. Funny!! I have no anchor myself. Haha ….. They are tying up to a dock that is dangerously adrift. There is a bigger picture I am sure I am failing to grasp. MOTHER!!! Listen to me…..this is NOT the life I imagined for myself. This, this adventure I have been given is so far from my dreams, my imaginations that I feel like an Alien in a very strange land and there is no Mothership.

Speaking of strange….  Shoe and I are at the market. We have gathered up the needed items and have made our way to the checkouts. They are all full. We have about 5 items so we head to self-checkout. There are four. Two to our left and two to our right all occupied. In the middle of the floor between them all stands a round woman and her very round son. I look at them and cannot decide which line they are in. “Shoey do you see any isle, row, stand here markers anywhere?”  No there are no directions as how to proceed from this point. So the fun begins…. “What do we do? Where do we stand? What is going to happen to us?”  We are giggling. “How about we all charge the next available cash stand and the winner goes first?” More giggles. “How about we form lines you take one and I take one and we switch to whoever goes first?”  The next question remains unanswered. “Which line are they in?” Another Lady pulls up to us with a buggy. She looks at us all, standing in the middle of the place with a very clear question in her eyes. I smile very big, glance around and shrug my shoulders. “GOD love her, she says “well are there lines? IS there a side I should be on? I cannot tell?”  The round woman has still not said anything. She is however making faces at our comments and concerns. Her prepubescent son has now shouldered up and in my mind has established an aggressive stance. Shoulders back, hips squared up and a scowl on his face. My reaction to his body language was about as quick as his settling his weight into his defensive attack posture. I look over at our new friend “we are pirates ma’am and we intend on taking what we want! IT IS OURS!!” 

Her eyes grow huge, the round woman gives a half backward glance, our friends eyes begin to twinkle (we had her on our side) she grins. “We are Vikings.  This is Scotland. Take it!” 

Our friend is now laughing with us. The round woman moves to the next open cash stand and checks out, her son standing duty like a body guard. I look him up and down, look at his mother and proceed to giggle. He turns extremely red which melts to a ghostly white as he looks at my non laughing face and the direct eye contact I have now established with him. He turns around and melts into the posture of a chastised puppy. We take our turn at an available stand and check out. Shoe says to me “Mother did you hear what she said?” What who said? “The rude woman in line?” What? I ask.  She said…” maybe we can all just act civilized”.  Really ......Miss I dress like a Walmart shopper is trying to be civilized? She probably cannot even spell civilized.  Shall we go find her? I would love to know what type of car civilized people drive.  Really… you drive a Mercedes I have Charles the BOSS-Lady Lincoln she must be in a Bentley. We mount the Charles and creep through the parking lot spying her on the side of the building. We pull up behind her and look her car over expecting a Bentley or Lotus or something we believe a civilized person might drive.  We are shocked and astounded. Are you ready for this people of the world? To be considered civilized in her world one must drive a 2006 Toyota Camry.  We left the scene believing we were lesser creatures than her.

You see what I mean? This stuff just happens. Oh, I suppose I could have just stood in line and not said a word just like the rest of the dreary, beaten down cattle in the market. Let this round woman continue in her assault of innocent people and watch her round son grow up to be a bully like his mom.

I am torn, I had resolved to stay here and just move to a loft. But I am not sure I can deal with the Mother any longer. Perhaps I should look at other cities further away.

Lady Tamara  www.HighlandTitles.com must now try to sell her diamonds so she can get as far away as possible from her mother. Can I live in Scotland? Is there a serious amount of paperwork involved with that?