Peanut Birthday Crown

I am on an airplane waiting to get up so I too can get off the plane. (I will get to that in a minute). As I am looking out the window to see the happenings around the plane by the ground crew I notice large white boxes sliding down the ramp to the waiting cargo team. They say Live Herb Plants - Keep Upright with 2 long red arrows pointing up on each side of the box. I counted 12 boxes. 4 came down the ramp on their sides and 4 came down the ramp upside down. One guerilla just plops them on the cargo trolley still sideways and upside down. The other guy turns a few the right way but when he notices the other guy leaving them wrong he leaves them turned wrong. I look at him and shake my head, so disappointed in his sheep like behavior. I am pretty sure he cannot see me. But after a moment of hesitation he goes back to the cargo trolley and turns every wrong box so they read right side up. He is not a sheep!! I am so proud of him.

5 times the flight attendants asked people to put the bags and items that would fit under the seat in front of them, UNDER the seat in front of them. I always do. I have used overhead stowing twice on my life because I had two carryon bags. These sheep were putting everything in the bins overhead. Little bags, big bags, jackets, everything. Yes some of them might have put other things under the seat but not that I could tell. They stowed overhead and then they sat. They did not bend over and put anything under the seat in front of them.  They all have this need to sit up front and so create a traffic jam for everyone getting on the plane. They all want to stow a huge suitcase in a space made for a pillow and they want to do it right above their seat. 

There are 3 people per row, each with a huge suitcase. DO the physics! This just will not work. So some of these people have to go back a few rows to stow their stuff. Eventually it all works out and off we go. We land and a new challenge now takes control.  The door to the plane is open, we can get off, except we can’t! We now have to wait for the bloody dolts to get up, find their suitcases, which in many cases means they have to back everyone else up, to get the bag they put in a bin four rows back and on the opposite side. RUDE! 

Flight attendant Sandy gets on the intercom and asks for passenger Tiffany Harris to turn on her blue call button. She says she has a message from her parents. The whole plane gets quiet. Very Quiet. Sandy asks us all to close our window blinds and turn on our call buttons also. We all do. It is very dark except for the floor runner lights and the overhead emergency running lights. Sandy then announces that it is Tiffany’s birthday and that we have now lit the entire plane with birthday candles and after we sing Happy Birthday Tiffany can blow them all out. We sing and after a 1,2,3 count she makes a wish and we all turn off our call buttons. They then presented her with a Birthday crown made out of little packets of peanuts and pretzels. It was really cute. I hope Shaggy’s Happy Birthday on the airplane was just as good. Mine involved the whole plane as well. Thanx Hobbit!!

Why does no one ever sit by me? The entire plane can be full of people with the only two seats left by me and people will desperately look around for any seat anywhere else. It has not happened once it happens all the time. Today for example. People sat 3 to a row rather than space themselves out and sit on my row.  Why???? What is wrong with sitting by me? I have showered, brushed and flossed my teeth, put on deodorant. I can see no reasonable explanation here. I am fluffy, friendly, and fabulous!!!! 

Maybe I should fly First Class! Anyone care to help me out with that?