Man vs Pedicure

Copyright? You have copyrights on family photos? ……from 1868 and before and after? Really?  Copyright? That is some crazy shite!  Some of those people you have copyrights on are my mothers’ kin folk and “how thoughtful” but I have to ask your permission to use a copy? Did you take the photo? Were you there? Oh you touched them up? I would think you would be honored to share. That sharing the joy of the photos would be enough. Everyone who needs any of the family photos or letters or papers I have please feel free to copy away!  I will even email you the photo of Eudora Welty I have as a baby. The only one of her that young that I have seen. No charge! No copyright!  I must contact you to ask for a copy? What kind of crazy control freak power trip are you on? Il déménage complètement !

Friday morning dawned bright and early (5:00) as I was to be picked up by the groom and whisked away to the Best Man breakfast. No I was not the Best Man. I was the photographer who would capture those moments and events happening with the Grooms Party. Those things the Bride does not get to see or hear. I have pictures and now I will in this letter tell some of what was heard.  Later on in the day the “official” photographer will show up and take over. But even he will still not be everywhere so, I will endeavor to be where he is not. This had me in motion all day. We broke fast with a horse. This seemed appropriate seeing as how the Best Man lives on a ranch. The Red Rooster in New Braunfels serves up a spectacular Denver omelet!

After the omelet the Groom and all the Men meet up at the hotel. We are met by the Bride who proceeds to hand out itineraries, much to the amusement of the Best Man, who upon hearing that we have already one Groomsman off schedule decides the agenda is shot.  We decide to take two vehicles and off the men and I go to NB Nails. They are to have a pedicure and a manicure.  Video would have been the better choice for this part of the day. I will not do justice to the description of the faces of the 5 women in the pedicure spa as they watched 6 men march in and proceed to give them and the chairs and tubs a” deer in the headlights” stare. Photos are very hard to take when you are laughing uncontrollably I must say.  These guys were troopers and the undressing of their feet and the rolling up of their jeans started as one, as if on cue.  The women across the room all looked very uncomfortable and nervous. This surprised me. However, as the men accepted their fate and bravely soldiered on the women relaxed. Once Dan and Fran accepted a glass of wine things went much better, much funnier.  Here is some of what was heard:…..  “Rog… your horse will now make you ride side saddle.”  “Do not tell your horse about this or he will no longer respect you.”  “Gosh Darn!! These feet do not even look like mine.”  “No woman should ever be exposed to these feet!”  “I am having more sensations now than I have had in 30 years of marriage!”  “These poor girls will have feet nightmares for weeks!”  The frustration on a few of their faces once the massage chair time ran out was hysterical. Seeing them try to figure out how the control panel worked and NOT disgrace themselves by asking was riotous.  “No need to spend money at a cheap hotel on a vibrating bed, I’ll just come here and get a pedicure!” I will say rapture best describes three of their faces.

Next was lunch. Rog ordered the tortilla soup. I assumed he had eaten tortilla soup before, we soon found out he had none like this. It was a lovely little bowl decorated beautifully with tortilla strips and cheese and fresh pieces of avocado. Here is what was said….. “I don’t know what all this stuff is on this soup but maybe we can sell some of it back and help pay for the meal.”

The rest of the day was filled with Bridal party preparations.  I did sneak into the Groom’s party dressing room just in time to photograph the zipper malfunction and organized chaos that this created. How many men does it take to console, reassure, calm down, and refocus 6 men with a zipper issue?  Come on Marines! Let’s take this hill!!!! Three words! Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.  Later that night I asked the zipper victim how the zipper was doing and I was rewarded with a very boyish blush and a look of surprised wonder as he asked how I knew. …

Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com never photographs and tells.

Paparazzi ……. We are everywhere.