Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Tyler Stevana


I open my email to see a huge article on the odd name R Downey jr named his baby. Does not seem like an odd name to me. Exton Elias. Not like Moon Unit or Dweezil or Apple, or Blanket, Bean, Justice, Poeme on and on. Who are these people? The name Police? Unique names are very cool downright stupid names are cruel. My children complain because they feel their names are not unique or unusual or even pretty. When I tell them some of the others that were on the list I liked they pick a few they wish I had used. I chose with great care. The names on my list had meaning. They were strong names and attributes I wished for my children to have. Would I have named them something different if I had to do it again? Yes if it was just I involved in the naming decision. Sadly it was not. My second child could have been Shelly Grace or Carden Blue but then she decided to arrive 7 weeks early and cause severe trauma. She was not expected to live. She needed a big powerful name. I gave her one. She hates it. But now she is my favorite Shoe a name in a teenage fit of cruelty she tried to attach to her baby sister. It started as Shitpie and morphed into Shoepie because my 16 month old daughter could not pronounce Shitpie. My youngest was going to be Paisley Summer but that name had the entire family unit in such  uproar of jealousy that she was getting the best name I named her after her two grandfathers. Something I am glad now I did. I did rescue one daughter from Tyler Stevana in honor of Steven Tyler. Wheww!!! My grandmother was angry with my mother for not naming my brother after my dad and thereby creating a SPP the V that would have been cool we could have called him Five…..hahah She also thought  I should have gotten a family name after my grandmothers. I could have been Ina Vida or Vida Ina or Frances Ina or even better Ina Frances. Ok that one may not be so bad or any combination of Mary, Hannah, Chestina, Catherine or Martha. There was an Electra way back in 1723. Wish they had known that….I could be Electra.

The non-mower man was mowing his lawn yesterday just a few hours after my landscaper came and did mine. He then has the ….. to stop me as I am driving by to attempt to throw my daughter under the bus. “Didn’t she tell you I said I would mow it Monday or Tuesday?” Have you ever just wanted to be blunt and honest and let someone have it? I interrupt him as he is attempting this line of defense. “She told me what you said but you also said you would mow it while I was in Dallas!” He then changes tactics and tries to be aggressive. “You had to pay for it didn’t you?” (oh male creature you do NOT want to dance this dance) “My landscaper mowed my lawn as he said he would.” Foolish male creature continues ( I am convinced he is a village idiot).”You had to pay for it right?” I smile that benevolent smile you bestow upon a child who has brought you in a dandelion and believes it is the most beautiful flower in the world. “I said I would do it!” I laugh. “Did you make a lot of money in Dallas?” Uhmmmm….I am thinking it is Dallas not Vegas?????.....”NO?” “Are you off to work? He asks my daughter. She looks straight ahead and says yes. “Oh well I will let you go.” As if he ever had us? You lied, you made up excuses for your lack of commitment and then worst of all you throw your guilt on to my daughter? I almost married another version of you.

Dear male creature next door. I am Lady Tamara,www.LairdOfLochaber.com  I have a landscaping crew in case you failed to notice! He shows up. He does what he says. It is a great relationship
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 Blaming my daughter??? Really??? Are you truly that stupid???? My child is at fault because you failed to do what you said you would??? D&G HELLO?????
  
Can you say Tiger Mama????

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