Chocolate Chip Football?

I thought I had chosen the perfect time. I thought I would breeze in and out in moments. It was days before Thanksgiving. There was nothing on my list that even remotely sounded like something anyone would cook for a feast. I thought I was removing a chore from my list. As it turned out, and does every time, GOD had planned an adventure that not only would affect me but, from what I later saw two others.

I was at the grocery store picking up a few needed items for my famous chicken club tacos 

and the chocolate chips needed to make my traditional Holiday pie.

A pie I have made for years, which my youngest believes is as traditional as most people view Pumpkin Pie. I had in my little hand basket everything I needed and the chocolate chips were the last item to grab.  I turned the corner to traverse the baking aisle when I came to an abrupt halt.

This was caused in part by the immense crowd, most with the huge buggies (not the small buggies) along the length of the aisle and a store employee with a huge cart loaded down with cases of evaporated and condensed milk who had just pushed his way to the start of the aisle.  Before I could stop it “Bloody Hell!” came tumbling from my lips. A Lady, who was half my size (in other words extremely short and very thin) to my right was huddled up next to an over-abundant end cap of cranberry sauce practically shaking with apprehension. Another Lady to my left had slammed on her energetic brakes at the same moment I had and was looking down the aisle with the expression one might wear while watching lions in the wild take down a wildebeest not 20 feet in front of you. 

I giggled. They both looked at me with concern after the expletive I had just uttered and then followed that with an obvious frosting of humor. I looked left and right and said “Ladies, I was NOT expecting this.” Tiny, the Lady to my right “I do not even live here. I live in New Berlin, I came here because it was a larger store than we have.” Looking again at them both I said “I say we do this. Let’s formulate a plan of what we absolutely need and make a run for it. No mercy!!” To my amazement they both move closer to me. It was a gauntlet, a field of big, ugly burly defensive linemen.

 There were defensive tackles and to either side of them some incredible scary defensive ends. I could see up middle the outside linebackers jostling and taunting us. One of the corner backs nodded her head much like Nemo taunting Mr. Smith.

All of a sudden there is a hole opening up in the middle and I start to move but the nose guard (employee with cart of boxes)  sensing my play blocks me and effectively also blocks my line of sight. He moves right as I shout” up the middle, now, now!” we start, only to have the safety (a large blonde woman with a huge buggy) move straight for us and stop. “Oh hell no!! She just did not do that!” I say in my outside stadium voice (apparently because several people turn to look) and my team, to my surprise move closer to me in solidarity and support. The safety sensing a shift in the Force moves forward and left. “Ready…..” Tiny squeaks “I am right behind you!!” and the other Lady shouts “GO!!!”  I charge up the middle and to my surprise the defensive team seems to be frozen they just stand there not moving except for a corner back whisking a small linebacker out of my way.

I go right, praying to catch the chocolate chips, when I see them. There they are and there is, hidden behind her guards a very strong safety. Strong as in agile, fleet of foot and very beautiful. 

I fake left and right and then right again catching her off-guard. I reach over her buggy, grab the bag of chocolate chips scream out (yes I actually did) “YES!!!” and charge to the goal at the end of the aisle. After I cross the end caps of boxed whipped topping

 I turn, raise the chocolate chips over my head and shout “Touchdown!!!” 

A man who had been at the goal line cracks up and tells me “good game!! Well done!!” I smile and head off to the check-out.

The house smells like chocolate chip cookies this morning and we are having pie for breakfast. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving!