Thursday, October 16, 2014

DETHRONE THE DAIRY QUEEN

I am going to admit right now that I have lost my mind. I would have sworn I had started a letter and then saved it to my desktop to continue later but after a 20 minute search through my computer I cannot find it. I will start a new one with mild trepidation and a sense of failure. Will I lose this one too? Is this not really happening? How many other things have imagined?


While at dinner Monday night with Mom she decides it is coffee time and so she pulls out the coffee, pours the water and turns on the pot. After a few minutes the aroma of toasted hazelnut wafts through her apartment.  She looks over at me with a huge grin and declares that the coffee is done. Shall we? She asks as we get up and head to the kitchen. She sets out her favorite cup and the one I prefer to use and hands me the cream. I pour cream into the cup followed by coffee and go back into the living room and sit down, cozy up for one of her favorite shows Castle. From the kitchen I hear a panicky “OHHHH!!!!” and mother turns around grabs a rag, turns back around, I then hear the coffee pot being moved. The next thing is Mom saying “what is going on?” in a very confused tone. Mom! What are you doing? What happened? She backs up from the coffee pot with a mixture of panic, sadness and puzzlement on her face. Mom!!?  “The coffeepot is not working” she exclaims. “I know I filled it full of water but there is just a half a pot now. Where is the coffee?” Let me add right here that Mom’s coffee pot is very small it makes about 2 cups of coffee. Mother!! I have already poured my cup. Remember you handed me the cream. She pauses, looks at me looks at the pot and then proceeds to stick her tongue out at me like a little child, shakes her head and giggles. “Don’t tell your brother” she says as she laughs. No I am thinking, he will take your car keys and start calling you three times a day.


There I am filling my car with gas, which I happen to believe is man-work, and out of the corner of my eye I see a woman walking through the gas station parking lot. As I turn I am shocked to see a cigarette in her hand. I stop the pump, put it back in its cradle, get in the car and drive off. In my mind I can see the entire gas station being engulfed in flame and explosions popping through the air like popcorn as all of the cars still there catch fire, convulse, and erupt into balls of flame. The vision is so real I can feel adrenalin and panic swamp me. I realize as I drive away that I have braced and tensed for….. Nothing happened. (More of that lost my mind thing?)


One last thing my beloved comrades. My nephew Crispin has been working a second job at Dairy Queen. My daughter had gone to Vegas for the weekend. Crispin was going to pick her up at the airport. He informed his supervisor at work that he would need a few hours off to go to the airport pick her up and come back. They told him no he could not go. Well that was not their best move. I am afraid Dairy Queen Dullards that you fail to understand the concept of family. Check your Medici family history. 


They were family. You do not tell any member of this family that they cannot do something, that you will not allow them to do something. The boys have been brought up to defend, protect and guard the girls for the whole of their lives. They execute this duty very well and take the role seriously. Crispin promptly removed his hat, told them he would be picking up his cousin, and left. They told him not to come back. His last comment to them was, “I was not planning on it!” This has led to …. Can you guess? Yep we are now in a full stage boycott of Dairy Queen. Join with us!!



DETHRONE THE DAIRY QUEEN!!!!  

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