the way you lie

My daughter and I had a Lord of The Rings Fest this weekend. I love those movies. I love each and every character. For their strength and  weaknesses. Trying to figure out which one I am more closely related to  is difficult because there is in me a little of them all. I find a  little treasure in each movie as I watch that I did not see the first time. A subtle look or expression, lighting, action in the background. The truths and the lies and the things left unsaid. There is one thing each character has in common I notice. They are faithful. To the  quest, to themselves, to each other, and to those whom they are fighting to help and protect. Faithful, even when things seemed hopeless  or imperfect or they encountered hardships. Faith led them on. "I love the way you lie...." I do not care for that song. However, it was what best represented a neighbor last night. She was  outside  on her porch in the dark well past midnight drinking and singing that song loudly. Not a happy drunk singing it. A sad, hurting singing.  Maybe her sorrow comes from the breaking of faith. Now that I write this I can not recall the last time I saw her man's  truck parked outside the house or him in the pool with their child. Maybe he was deployed and she was just having a bad night. Maybe  his job takes him out of town  and yesterday was her birthday and she remembers him saying he would be with her for every  birthday she would ever have. My slumber was interrupted by this, and thoughts of how my adventure might unfold today and feeling anxious to start it. I had wondrous  imaginings, something that has eluded me these past many months. I was having fragmented conversations with GOD and musings. It was  great. I felt a freedom from strife I had not felt in a long time and to be honest that had me feeling a wee bit fearful. When you are held  in bondage, a prison, you eventually grow complacent, accepting. I was fighting hard against all of those things and angry at not only what had caused those things but that I was feeling that way. I am no longer in that place. I can see a vague light beyond the storm clouds. This has stirred my spark of hope into an ember the size of a cantaloupe. Big change. I am excited and anticipate each day with more  joy this is the thought that led me to fear. I had gotten comfortable in my despair. Slumber came and I was thrown from dreams and am still  in that grog hazed world of a startled awakening this morning. This is not how I wanted to start out my day....LOL..... but this is where  my starting point is. Good morning everyone....Whose agenda are you really on?