Breakfast Letters: Bates Hotel

Breakfast Letters: Bates Hotel: No trip to the Denver area should be without a tour through the Coors Brewery. So off we went. You get a beer at the tasting room in the m...

Bates Hotel

No trip to the Denver area should be without a tour through the Coors Brewery. So off we went. You get a beer at the tasting room in the middle of the tour and at the end you get to sample three more beer. During the bus ride to the brewery we got a short tour through the city of Bolder and were informed we could leave our vehicles parked at their parking lot and explore Bolder. So we did. We had dinner at a Cantina. Guess who else was there…. The 80s! There was a woman sitting at a table with the hairstyle of Mike Score the lead singer from a Flock of Seagulls. Her friends all looked like poster children for hairstyles of the 80s.

Shortly after we were served our food a waiter threw a knife at me. He stumbled over something and a plate with a knife on it went flying with the knife coming to rest on the floor not far from my foot. I knew right then and there we were in the right place, Mexican food, margaritas, and knives. I ordered pumpkin cheesecake with a cinnamon caramel sauce and vanilla cognac for dessert. It was such a huge piece and I was full so I took half of it home with us. John, our waiter took it away and put it in a box. Lady Tamara www.LairdOfLochaber.com had the best breakfast ever…..coffee and pumpkin cheesecake….mmmmm

We decided to go to Georgetown for the weekend. Tony called a hotel from his work phone which is blocked at the carrier.  No one should be able to call him back. The rate they quoted him was a little high so he thanked them and rang off. About 5 minutes later his phone rang, it was the hotel calling him back to give him a cheaper rate. Our question is how did they get his number? We decided since we were armed and this was an adventure we would stay at what we have affectionately dubbed The Bates Motel.

Before we left for Georgetown we headed back to Bolder to visit the grave site of Buffalo Bill Cody. It was at the top of a mountain. Him and his wife are both buried there.

There we were tootling through Georgetown when we spy deer in the front yard of a house. There was a mama and 2 babies and a couple other doe munching away in the front yard. This is in town, downtown not on the edges of suburbia. It reminded me of the donkeys that roam through Cripple Creek.  The doe stopped and gazed at us while I took a photo. They did not run away or take flinch they just watched us watch them.

I know most of you have been wondering where Horatio has been for the past several days as have I. We spotted him in Denver and then as we were driving to Georgetown he was stopping for gas in Idaho Springs. We waved he looked up and over his sunglasses at us and gave us the nod.

What else lies ahead?

The window

I had to deliver a packet of tickets to a local university. I have been to the campus but I have never had to find a building on campus, until, yesterday. I bravely exit the vehicle and hike from the parking lot stopping an intelligent looking young man who points toward some buildings and says turn right and there it is. Uhm…. But it wasn’t. I hiked to and fro for what felt like hours. I stopped in the Library, more unclear directions. I stopped a girl who giggled and admitted it was her first semester and all she knew was her 2 classes were in that building (pointing) and the finance office is over there (pointing to some buildings about a half mile away). Now picture this, it is 84 outside which is HOT, I am dressed to board a plane to Colorado where last I heard the temp was 5. I now need to shower again. I never found the administration offices. I did have an altercation in the parking lot …LOL…big surprise! I was driving down an isle looking to park. There was a car stopped at the end. I assumed he was waiting for a car to back out of a spot. He was. The little red car backed out. While he backed out another car further down backed out, excellent, we could both park. The guy in the red car says something to the waiting car and pulls back in to his spot. The waiting car backs up and into the vacated spot. How Rude!! I wait for the little male creature that had just been rude as well as disrespectful to me to leave his car and walk on away. He does not, I creep my car up toward him since it is the direction I am facing and I need to find a parking spot. He still does not exit the car. I stop in front of him and look over. He freaks out and looks away. Shame on you!!! Would you have done that to your mom? My guess is yes!

I board the plane find a seat get cozy and we take off. After we reach our cruising altitude the flight attendant comes on and announces that there will be no Luv Peanuts being served on this flight because there is a person on board who is allergic. I have never heard of such a thing have you? This must be a serious allergy. We get pretzels instead.

We are flying North I am seated on the east side of this plane. I look out my window and I see darkness, stars to the side of me and clouds below me. Fields and fields of clouds looking like rich lush farm lands. Some looking round like cotton balls in rows. Some longer and wispy like wheat, large rolls like watermelons, clusters like grapes. Then all of a sudden there is a burst of light, as though someone on the west side of the plane turned on a 200 watt bulb. The plane has turned just enough so that the sun is now glaring in through the windows. I cannot see it but I can see how it is still vivid daylight. I look right it is night, I look left it is not. We were flying on the edge between the two. I have seen this on satellite maps of the world where day and night just stop and start. I was on that point. It was incredibly surreal.

 As I peered from my window the clouds cleared away and were replaced by snow covered countryside. At first I thought it was all wet and just reflecting back but then I realized it was all very pale like everything had been given a thorough dusting with powdered sugar. The little bit of light that reached the ground was reflecting and refracting off the crystals of snow and ice that covered the world below me. It was a fairy tale environment. A land created by C.S. Lewis from Narnia when the Queen ruled.

To my left the sky had become something incredibly beautiful. The sun had sunk below the horizon. The edge where land met sky was a vivid shade of reddish orange, blending upward into the soft shade of an overripe apricot. This melted into a washed out shade of aqua and changed abruptly to the blue of a robin’s egg and then dark into the night sky that had been my companion. I was mesmerized and the man on the end of my row looked up from his paper at me and stared a moment he then slowly turned his head to follow my gaze, looked quickly back at me then back out the window and back again at me. I recall thinking….”Sir, have you ever seen anything that glorious?” there was no answer because it was only a thought. My father used to describe these visions he would see in flight to us when we were younger. He could not speak of his missions but he could describe the sky. He could tell us of the colors, the stars, the contrast between water and land and clouds. I would try and imagine, I would long to see what he saw just like he would describe it. I could hear him last night…. “This is what I meant.”

Did GOD paint me a beautiful back drop for my flight because I am Lady Tamara  www.LairdOfLochaber.com or because Tamara is one of HIS Ladies?  I shall believe it is both.

What is painted on your back drop today?

Breakfast Letters: Circle

Breakfast Letters: Circle: I made hot cocoa this morning. Not the open a pouch and pour in hot water kind; the kind you mix together with sugar, cocoa, salt, milk, ...

Circle

I made hot cocoa this morning. Not the open a pouch and pour in hot water kind; the kind  you mix together with sugar, cocoa, salt, milk, vanilla, heat and enjoy with Halloween marshmallows.  There was a yellow moon, orange pumpkin, brown bat and white ghost. Very festive.  I cannot believe the speed at which October is flying by. Why do the months that are your favorite do that? Why do the months that you care about the least drag?

Is my mother the only woman left in the world who carries a pocketbook instead of a purse? No matter what type of bag it is a pocketbook. My Grandmother carried a pocketbook also. I have purses. My daughters say purse. Who says pocketbook? I love it. Maybe when I am old I will say pocketbook too.

Have you noticed in old photographs no one smiled? The old photographs that I have of my Grandmother and her family, they are usually smiling. It makes them appear odd. But they are genuine smiles. Their entire face is smiling not just their mouths. The photos of Eudora Welty and her family are like that. They are cousins. Their homes must have been full of love and joy. I have a few photos of my granny when she was young and with her beau. She is smiling but it is a very different smile. It is mischievous. There is something very elfish or sprite like about her grins, as though she is from some place other than here. My aunt has a smile like that. Celtic word for Sprite is Spriggan. Sprites are mostly found in European tales and stories and are not human like we are but other worldly and different still than selkies or mermaids. I wonder if there is a Spriggan living on my little bit of Scotland at www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com . I can barely wait to get there to explore for them myself.

If you step into a fairy circle and they take you away do you become small like them or are they really our size in their world and just appear small here? Can you really not get back once they take you from inside the circle? Or is it true if you can get someone to come to you there you can go? I am very sure I do not wish to be green and have wings. Are all fairies green with wings? Or are the Sprites just green? Or are they? I can see where I will be today….inside a fairy circle….as Mark said yesterday Ta Ta for now!Circle

Breakfast Letters: DPS

Breakfast Letters: DPS: The Lady Tamara and the Lady Tamara in my head are sometimes 2 different people. I very much enjoy them both. Lady Tamara came home yester...

DPS

The Lady Tamara and the Lady Tamara in my head are sometimes 2 different people. I very much enjoy them both. Lady Tamara came home yesterday after a day of errands and realized she had not stopped for lunch. Ravenous she rummaged through her kitchen and discovered artichoke hearts and angel hair pasta. She created a lovely white sauce from chicken broth and cream, herbs a few spices, and chopped up the hearts. All of this went onto the pasta. A glass of passion flower tea, Sherlock Holmes, made for a lovely dinner for one. The Lady in my head wanted to be served dinner with candles, glass of Pinot Grigio, ice cold Pellegrino and Spumoni with 3 of her friends. My little piece of Scotland did not come with an entourage of people to do that however, I am still Lady Tamara.

I mentioned my day of errands most of which were mellow. I did however end up at the Department of Public Safety.  I was replacing my driver’s License. There were about 14 people ahead of me. 5of those were alone including me. I am under the impression that you are NOT supposed to go alone. Oops! I waited in line and finally had my turn. I told the clerk my need she ran my information through her machine and handed me a number 528. I should have brought a pillow and blanket, change of clothes, tooth brush, a snack. There were not 500 people ahead of me that I could see. Perhaps there had been and the disgruntled ones are dealt with by a different department after being taken away in a black van.  I found a seat and waited. How marvelous this endeavor became. I love to sit at airports and people watch. Here was a plethora of people around me to watch. I pulled out my notebook and proceeded to fill two pages.

Here is what I encountered.

1.     Hats off men. I have covered this in a previous letter that obviously some of you did not get. Ball caps and fedoras. Remove them!! 

2.     There was a man in a work shirt, denim overhauls, work boots, groomed and fresh shaven, mid 60s looking very much the rural farmer come to town except for the Borg device protruding from his ear. No it was not a hearing aid. I suppose there is an i-pod dock in his tractor.

3.     Then for the second time in 3 days the 1970s came through the queue. He looked like a bad Halloween version of Burt Reynolds from Smokey and the Bandit. Dude!!!!  Really??? What is with that mustache?  I actually looked to see if there was a black 1975 Trans-Am in the parking lot. When out of all the females in the room he singled me out for his lingering gaze. (Shuddering ….I feel the need to bathe).

4.     I look to my left and sitting next to the young Fedora wearing, I belong in 1962 Cuba, (he was so rocking the look but see #1) sat Mr. I am picking my zits. Really??? In a public place? He then after self-grooming pulls out his phone and starts texting with his still greasy fingers. Reminder to self NOT to borrow his phone. Eewww! He was there to get his 18 wheeler license. (Note to Tony he was a PoW!)  These two actually were there together.

5.     Then in walks what looks like a Goth. Young man, white skin, black jeans with chains and 12 zippers, black long in the front hair, clean, tattooed, wearing……No not a Marilyn Manson shirt no not a Twilight shirt…..not going to believe it…. A HALO tea bagging T-shirt. I am not sure what it said but it was 2 tea bags hanging and the word HALO. Really in public to the DPS?  I am very sure however that only players of HALO and a few depraved others would get it.NO I am not on the depraved list!!!

6.     To the cute girl escorting Mr. Tea Bag….. Honey!! Do NOT wear black hip hugging panties with white polka dots and a lime green waist band under your flowing white skirt.  Loved your short edgy red hair though!!

7.     Mr. Steal Your Girl!!!! I am not a fan of saggy jeans. You like looking at my arse? Well I want to see your (I am a Lady of a certain age and I CAN now stare at all the young men I want!!!) arse!  Not that I am into Cowboys in WoW jeans but I want to see what I might get to work with. The artwork stitchery on the giant pockets of your jeans was very cool. Ocean, under the ocean, like a ship wreck; fish and a steering wheel, colorful coral, seashells, it was nice and baby I am a Pirate! I saw Treasure and as I was perusing the treasure above the pockets guess what I saw? Your arse! Those naughty pockets with the undersea treasure were placed strategically below your arse cheeks. Sweet!

My number was called and as I was posing for my photograph the clerk asks me to move my hair and expose my eyebrows. What? She needs to photograph my face with my eyebrows exposed? What if those are not my real eyebrows? What if they are dyed to match my hair or not match my hair? What if I shape them very thin? What if I shave them off? Then she insisted I smile. All the clerks I noticed were insisting that their customers smile for their photo. Really??  I moved my bangs off my face in a big backward swoop. She laughed. No just move them to the sides. They belong in the front I insist. She smiles, please move them. She then instructs me to look into the camera. I think I am when she wants to do another retake. She smiles again. Please look directly into the camera. Uh….NO!.. I am getting creeped out. I look directly to the left of the camera. She then reprimands me for not looking at the camera again and then says oh never mind this one will work; the whole time being cheerful and pleasant. Since the smile was being insisted upon I did not smile either. I am telling you it was very creepy in there. Happy clerks all trying to get smiling full frontal face views of people smiling. Weird!!!!

Your license will be to you by Thursday, she smiles and says have a nice day. Very Stepford wives like……

And who is parked in the bank parking lot facing me as I drive away? Horatio!

Smile everyone!!

Breakfast Letters: Carrot soup

Breakfast Letters: Carrot soup: I have misplaced or relocated a tendon, ligament, vein, or muscle in my right shoulder blade area. Maybe it is fatigued. I know it is not ...

Carrot soup

I have misplaced or relocated a tendon, ligament, vein, or muscle in my right shoulder blade area. Maybe it is fatigued. I know it is not right and I have been trying to manipulate, coax it back into place. It just laughs and says “I do what I want!” When I first started PTSD therapy it was like this. After many months of therapy she got it to relax and return to its original location.  My Tony has the ability to find the culprit and attempt to relocate it.  Connor’s wife found it once and for 40 minutes she cajoled and gently moved it back to where it is supposed to be. The blood rushing into my elbow and wrist and fingers burned. The movement of each pulse of blood was painful but it was the best feeling.  She made a click on the bottom one to the right and two on top and “BAM” life poured back into my cold finger tips. I have (had) a heating pad that vibrated. It is presently AWOL. 5 minutes on that would sooooooooo help.  Maybe I could sell my autographed George Clooney photo and buy 45 minutes with a chiropractor. Hmmmmm….thinking……

I spent my entire weekend ghost hunting. I know there was a Charles Richardson Barbor. I have a birth year, a death date and a grave in a cemetery. But that is all. No birth month or day no death year. He shows up on no census. No birth or death certificate. His birth year is the same as year as a sister. Twins?  Premature? Miscarriage?  There is no one to ask. He is not in the family Bible. There is no mention of him in any letters. They gave a little baby a big strong name. I did that once in the hopes she would survive. She would embrace her name its meaning and thrive. She did. She became victorious, crowned one. More like fighter….LOL…. perhaps Rocky would have been a better choice for her.

 I have yet to find any kin-folk who dwelt anywhere near my beloved piece of Scotland http://www.lochaberhighlandestates.com/  

What is it with airports? People…. You are in an unloading zone not a linger over your person good-bye zone. If that is the case go park and walk your loved one into the airport as I did earlier last week. D&G HELLO!!!!!! You were there when I pulled up to the unloading area. I helped my daughters grand-mother from the car, removed her walker, and three pieces of luggage, walked her to the kiosk with her luggage, gave her good-byes walked back to my car, buckled in, started up the i-pod and still three grown adults from your vehicle could not manage to get one man out of your vehicle and on his way. Really!!!!!

My cat is lounging on my bed, like all over my bed. I did not realize he was that long…wowser!!! I want to go lounge all over my bed now…. Is it still Saturday?

I made creamy carrot soup yesterday. I happen to like a good creamy carrot soup. Mine was tasty. I may not ever make it again. I was trying to recapture an afternoon in Glastonbury. My first carrot soup, the best carrot soup, or maybe it was the misty rain, or mid-September, or the stroll through the abbey or the stolen apple. No carrot soup will ever be that carrot soup …. I should stop searching and just remember…. That was a very very good day.

What kind of day will today be? Shall we all go find out?

Breakfast Letters: The Mayor

Breakfast Letters: The Mayor: Last night was the Taste of the Metrocom. For the first time ever I was not trapped working a booth. Yeah! I was working but in a differen...

The Mayor

Last night was the Taste of the Metrocom. For the first time ever I was not trapped working a booth. Yeah! I was working but in a different capacity. All of the food was great! Especially the sausage rolls from Lion and the Rose. Romo’s Pumpkin cheesecake rocked!!! Shiner bock makes the best beer! What I noticed were the people that get there right as it opens head for a table stake a claim and then send runners for food samples. They are camped for the duration. These dedicated food samplers get their monies worth. As soon as Shaggy started the kids at the Beach Ball Volleyball the parents were free to roam for food again. Those kids played for over an hour. Best idea of the night.

If you are the mayor of a little village and you are at a community function you should assume that everyone attending lives in your village and is a potential voter. I may not have voted for you the first time and as of right now you will NOT get my vote a second time. Also here is a hint. This is Texas!!! Before you decide who to disrespect and who not to disrespect find out who it is! I live in your village; however you were NOT the mayor when I moved in. Had that been the case I would NOT have moved here. I have lived in and around this village off and on since 1974 have you? Since you have never made eye contact with me and we have been introduced more than once I am going to assume that you, little man, are intimidated by tall, beautiful, strong women.  I am Lady Tamara; I am an owner in www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com. Show some bloody respect!!

WOW! That felt good!!!! I can go forth and conquer my day now.

I hope Cass does not spill hot chocolate on me…….

Staff?

I am currently out of sugar. I had a little left in my sugar bowl. I found 1 sugar cube in another sugar bowl. This makes for a challenging beginning to my day. Is this the only difficulty I shall face today or is this just the start of what will be challenge after challenge? I am very sure I am not feeling up to any further polishing or shaping of my person. My Bible study this morning likened life to Steinway crafting a piano. Bending the maple around the iron, lacquering, polishing, and pounding each key 10,000 times; can you image the same f# being pounded for 10,000 strokes of the key? I would go mad. Wait I am mad. I do not even like piano music. I think it is abrupt and abrasive. No wonder I am having a constant barrage of challenge. I prefer the violin. The sound and emotion are much closer to the song of my life. I suppose that it is no easy task bending the wood into that shape either. Just like in the movie The Red Violin, the soundtrack of which I love. Or maybe it is my secret crushing of Joshua Bells dancing with his violin.

Now about me going mad.... I was doing laundry, I pulled from the dryer the clothes that had dried and placed them in the basket. I removed from the washer the clothes that had finished washing and put them in the drier and turned it on.  I then started the washer and as it filled with water I poured in the detergent. I then and this is the mad part, reached down and stated putting the clothes I had just removed from the drier into the washer. I was halfway through the basket of clean laundry when I realized my mistake. I started to panic. Why I had I done that and what was supposed to go into the washer? As I backed out of the laundry room I bumped into the basket of dirty laundry I had brought down stairs. I was flooded with relief. I remembered what I was doing. I laughed at myself and had a vision of me going to church in my pajamas because I forgot to get dressed.

If only that was the end of the tale. I was standing in a receiving line at a function yesterday when the wife of a friend came through the door. I called her by her husband’s name. This again sent me into a panic. About an hour later another friend walks by on his way from the function and the conversation turned to a story of his cajoling me over another club. I looked at him as he walked away and called him by an odd name. I do not even know anyone of this name so where it came from is beyond me. This same thing happened to me 15 years ago and I made an appointment with my family physician. We talked and he asked me what was going on in my life. I told him about everything and we even went back a year in time. He smiled the whole time. It was stress. I did not feel stressed. He laughed. Apparently my brain was so full of the big picture and trying to reason it all out that little things were falling through the cracks. I followed his advice and reverted back to thinking about things like I did when I was 14 and my biggest worry was when could I get home change and get to the stable to ride my horse. It worked. I became blissful and happy and had no more episodes……. LOL… what is wrong with the … maker?.....LOL

Anyway why is Lady Tamara of Lochaber Highland Estates performing laundry detail? I should have a staff for this. Just like I should have a staff to ensure I do not run out of sugar. Did I have a staff at one time and forget to pay them? Oh dear… I cannot remember…….mmmmmmmmmm Maybe I should move my mirror to the back of the front door so as to see myself before leaving the house in case I forget to get dressed. Do I have a dog?

Breakfast Letters: The wind is howling outside like avengeful pack of...

Breakfast Letters: The wind is howling outside like avengeful pack of...: The wind is howling outside like a vengeful pack of werewolves. Different tones and pitches, trills and crescendos, moments of silence and...

The wind is howling outside like a vengeful pack of werewolves. Different tones and pitches, trills and crescendos, moments of silence and sudden wails. You would think the worst artic storm of the century was arriving. It may be a cold front but it is still very warm outside. I had to check because the urge to light the fireplace was overwhelming. Those of you who know my fireplace are now laughing. So am I….at least I have a fireplace in the sanctuary of my bedroom….do you?

My dearest friend looked me in the eyes yesterday and in all seriousness said” You really have no idea what a beautiful woman you are do you?” I wanted to brush her off with a “Guhahhhhn” Like Liza in My Fair Lady. Very seriously I replied No and changed the topic. Beautiful women do not make a miscalculation in their bills and realize the water is about to be turned off. Beautiful women do not end up married to abusive cruel men or drug addicts or alcoholics. They do not have to create a nutritious delicious meal out of a bit of cream a can of asparagus, a lemon and some nutmeg because that is all the food that is left in the house. Things magically happen to beautiful women. They want or need nothing. Ahhhh….but wait, it was a wonderful delicate cream sauce over the angel hair pasta. Beautiful. Had I not married the drug addict I would not have lived in a bungalow by the beach. Beautiful.  Had I not married the abusive man I would have missed dancing on cold winter nights with the Aurora Borealis and hearing its tinkling song.  Beautiful. Maybe their light is still reflecting in my eyes and that is what she saw.

It is very difficult to watch your daughter loose her mind in a matter of hours. I know she has the ability to do this I have seen it, I have lived with it, she is my daughter. It is even more difficult when your youngest child is out of town with her. She becomes unpredictable, irrational and terroristic. I am glad she lives out of town. (Remember I have lived with her do NOT judge me).  Yesterday she had a very difficult melt down and left my youngest at a mall in a town where she does not live and knows only three people. My baby has been rescued and is safe in my home. Her belongings however are in the trunk of “crazy” child’s car which she refused to return. Blankets, pillows, hair and tooth brushes, her work shoes (very expensive) her badge (now she must pay to get another one) her clothes (including a few new items she bought to take to Cali with her) and her entire inventory of make-up which we had just purchased and was all still new and it was costly enough to earn us the $100 gift with purchase. That may seem like a bit extravagant for a teenager however I am Lady Tamara, remember,  Lochaber and we must look our best. So, today I must adventure over to the other side of town so she can repurchase cosmetics.  Who is up for a road trip?

Breakfast Letters: Raw Salmon

Breakfast Letters: Raw Salmon: Did anyone else miss the memo from yahoo asking if we wanted to get rid of the comic sans font? Because I did not get one and the font is ...

Raw Salmon

Did anyone else miss the memo from yahoo asking if we wanted to get rid of the comic sans font? Because I did not get one and the font is gone. This is just one thing in a long line of reasons I am very VERY dissatisfied with yahoo lately. I use yahoo for personal mail not professional mail so offering me a funky font is OK. There is still boring font for those who wish to conduct their business from yahoo. I sent them a letter telling them not to show me anymore political ads from that obama creature (yes the o is not in caps on purpose). You see I know that yahoo has the power to display ads to me that are to my taste and liking and interests. I have NEVER shown an interest in anything political. Just looking at his head tilted toward heaven in his 2012 campaign sends me into an uncontrollable rage.  I am NOT plastering my face in front of him every moment so I do not want to see him either. I do not care about who Ashton was in a hot tub with or, how much Snookie paid for her ring, or what Jack Black named his baby.  Those things are offered, I decline. Offer the creatures ads but if I do not click on it to open it get it out of my life!!!! For the love of America do not put his face on any ad. EVER!!!!! The new faster easier email yahoo created needs to be uncreated. It is slower than and not as smart as the older version. Sometimes new and improved is not that. Ask Coke, ask The Gap. Half of the time yahoo will not even load. Not a huge fan of google but I may switch or return to my dear friends at Hotmail.

Lady Tamara of www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com  likes to have a cookie or a little cake with her afternoon tea. I bought a cookie at a local coffee shop and prepared to enjoy. The cookie was a chocolate peanut butter cookie so I could not see the bottom. I nibbled and sipped tea. The bottom of the cookie was burnt. Mmmmm. OK maybe it was a mistake. So Monday of this week I decided to give them another try. I bought their loaded oatmeal cookie which they bagged and sealed and I came home prepared my tea, set the cookie on the plate, went to my office and started my afternoon tea vacation. Guess what? The bottom of the cookie was burnt as was the one my daughter was eating. Am I the only person in town buying these awful cookies? Has no one said anything to the owners? Do people just accept shoddy products and move on?  I will not be buying any more cookies from this place and I will notify the owner.

Speaking of a horrible experience with food; My Lions Club went to a new restaurant for dinner last night. Our president had called and made what he thought was a reservation that morning for 7 that evening. We all arrive and the place is overflowing with people. We are told that they do not accept reservations. So we did not have one. We were then told it would be a 40 minute wait. I am NOT a waiter. I do not wait. I am the Princess and you will seat me now or I will take my money somewhere else. But it was not my party so I cheerfully chatted away to my fellow Lions while we waited, and waited and waited and after 75 minutes we were shown to two booths because they did not have a table large enough for 8.  We ordered. The food came to everyone but me. She looked at her empty tray and at me and asked “you had the salmon right?” Well instinct said to say no and just get a baked potato. I said yes and she promised to have it right out. It came out and looked beautiful. The edge of the salmon was warm and tasted nice. The next bite I pulled from the fish was raw. I asked my table mates if they thought it looked raw, we all concurred it was raw. The broccoli casserole was cold also. Rob waved the server over and I sent it away. I ordered baked potato skins. Those showed up fairly quickly but were not good. The manager said she would not charge us for the appetizer and apologized. When the bill came the salmon was still on it. We asked that it be removed. I will not be back. It was not anything I liked. The food, the ambiance, the whole feel of the place was wrong. Not to mention I know that the place has no intention of becoming involved with the local community. They have built a shoddy restaurant and want the money from the community with no intention of giving any back. But then I am NOT the demographic they wish to capture.

YO!!! Female creature in the silver vehicle!!! What is wrong with you? Do you see that huge stretch of pavement 20 feet in front of you with the neat little rows of stripes and a little to the left? That is a parking lot!!!!! Get it parking, you can park in it? Stopping in the middle of the street 10 feet from the left turn we need to make and thereby causing us to have to pull around you at a three way stop is not safe. Hang up the phone. Pull into the parking lot and then call your party back or ask them to hold while you pull into a slot and park.  Did you eat a bag of stupid for lunch? Pull off the road into the grass. Do something other than stop your car in the middle of the street and sit there chatting on the phone.

What is it about the mini coopers? Where are the coopers? Are there micro mini coopers? Jumbo coopers?  Super-sized coopers? I have decided that I want to drive the Coopinator. Where do I buy that vehicle?

I have photos to shoot I must run!!! A celebrity has summoned my services.

Breakfast Letters: Grape jelly

Breakfast Letters: Grape jelly: This morning I, Lady Tamara of Lochaber , am having toast and jelly with my tea. I do not have toast and jelly. I may have toast and hone...

Grape jelly

This morning I, Lady Tamara of Lochaber, am having toast and jelly with my tea. I do not have toast and jelly. I may have toast and honey or toast and marmalade or jam but never jelly. It is grape jelly. Today, when I wanted to feel powerful and strong I am feeling small, innocent and curious in a very childlike way about what adventure my day may bring. I am lingering over this letter as if waiting for Garnet, my Teddy Bear, to waltz over, sit to tea with me and tell of how she saved me from The Grey Man last night. I wonder if they serve jellies or jams at www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com .

I was doing some volunteer work for the Chamber of Commerce at their office. I am on the Taste of the Metrocom committee. I am calling our members for donations for silent auction items and also calling local restaurants to participate. I hear this little voice from the Executive Director’s office “I need a brain”.  What? She needs a brain? “I need your brain.” Now she wants my brain? Sounds like a movie script featuring brain eating aliens.  Of course, just like in a movie when you are watching it and screaming “NO!!! Do not go it is a trap!!!!” I get up and move slowly to the door where I cautiously peek around the corner of it. “I need to pick at your brain mine is not working.” She wonders why she is my “ex-wife.”  Maybe this brain thing should have come up months ago. Her man loves her though and he may not care about her brain issues. How many of us would love to hear our ex-wives or in my case husbands admit they need a brain or even just to pick at ours? I giggle and ask how I can help.

Fridays are coffee from Starbucks day for Shaggy. She looks forward every week to getting a late` from there on her way to work just on Fridays. I am not a fan, never have been. I prefer Its A Grind.  The junkies who frequent Starbucks to get their fix and feel metropolitan are for the most part intense, serious, unhappy, disgruntled and extremely selfish. I have never seen anyone other than myself and my children express joy or childish abandonment at one of these places.  We pull serenely into the parking lot to enter the drive through. There is a line out to the street. We can park and go in so we proceed through the parking lot which is packed. I turn around and ask her if she would rather go to the donut place first and get her apple fritter and then return to Starbucks. Since it is just across the street this is fine. We are attempting to leave the parking lot; I pull slowly up to a blind corner that connects the drive through with the exit to the street and inch my way to see around it. Psycho soccer mom comes charging into the path to the drive through without even a glance in my direction. She did not look right nor did she look left. She just dove for the drive through. I apply the brake and stop several feet from where her monster SUV would have smashed into me. She has still not looked around her. I lay my hand on the horn for a very long moment. She is startled to see me there. As I am recovering from this brush with death by coffee crazed sub-human another dim-witted sub human comes racing into the drive through / exit road and seeing her blocking the drive through he decides to turn to the left to avoid her not slowing down mind you he sees me still now, desperately trying to escape the parking lot and still he does not slow down he speeds up and swerves left to avoid her and right to avoid me. It is just coffee!!! It is just Starbucks!!!! They are not going to run out!!!!! It is not like they are giving away i-pads today!!! Yo!!!! They sell it by the pound buy some and make your coffee at home!!!! Shaggy only drinks coffee once a week. She does not drink it at home. This is supposed to be a treat not an encounter with psycho coffee junkies. It feels like the scene from Batman where Bruce’s parents are killed in the alley for a strand of pearls…. Surreal!!

Us tea drinkers are so much more civilized.

I have downloaded a free 30 day trial of a security system that is already running on the butterfly. It is the “super-charged” version. Ok, my system is not much faster, Even though I get a pop up about an accelerator. It gives me a daily report on the threats it saved me from both incoming and outgoing. The deadly files, the insecure websites, I feel like Harry Potter. The program sends me a reminder every day that my security coverage is about to end as it counts down the days until the trial expires.  There is a X in the usual place at the top of the little box, however, you cannot X on it.  You can purchase or remind me later. My wonderment is… why put the X up in the corner if it is not an option?  I don’t get it.

Let me tell you about Goblin. He is a black cat we rescued from a life of struggle and daily survival when he was about 10 weeks old. He was living with his mom and two other kittens at a boat shop.  I could only take one and as Jay asked me which kitten I wanted, I replied “whichever kitten GOD wanted for me”.  It was October 30.  We had a Goblin.  He howled and was frightened and fussy for days. I had to teach him cat manners and house manners. He finally fell into the rhythm of being our cat.    We called him Gobble Gobble Gobble, G, G-man, Brother G and G-Dude.  His food bowl said Prince on it and he acted like a dignified old man of Privilege. It was amusing. He would jump up on to a chair at every meal and calmly sit at table with us. He never got on the table or begged for a morsel. He would just sit there and watch us as we took turns chatting as though he was following the conversation. I would place a tiny bit of meat in front of him and he would lift a paw and delicately move it close to him where he would pick it up and eat it. My wonder here is if I am Lady Tamara of Lochaber does this somehow make Goblin Laird Goblin because I have no doubt that in his mind he knows he is. Perhaps I should review my paperwork or make a quick trip to http://www.lairdoflochaber.com/ 

Shaggy has been studying her driver’s manual. She is very quick to point out drivers who make mistakes. She has even been known to roll down her window and yell “illegal!!! illegal!!” at offending drivers. This is amusing to me and her. We were at a stop light where I had received a ticket for an illegal turn a few years ago when another driver made the same turn. Was there an officer sitting there to ticket them? NO Shaggy decided this was unfair and so did I so I laid on the horn and shook my head at them and explained to them that it was an illegal turn they had just made. They of course ignored me because they were not paying attention to me so Shaggy rolls down her window sticks her head out and yells illegal, illegal, illegal!!!!!  The people in the  vehicle next to us are shocked, the people to our right are laughing the people behind us are looking confused. We are laughing. Shaggy may not pass her driver’s license exam but she does know not to turn wrong at that light.

I made a quick note to remind me of a topic I wanted to discuss and all I can make out is destroyed for steak or maybe it says dishtowel frost eat it is spelled delshbal fros stech. I cannot remember what I wanted to say nor can I find the …… oh yes I do. It says dental floss stick. I remember….. What is with those little sticks that come in assorted colors that have dental floss strung between a “U” shaped end? Or perhaps I should be asking what is with the people ( not really sure about this either) that use them?  Why do I find them lying on the ground in parking lots? All the time? Do the directions say to carry them in your vehicle and discard in the nearest parking lot? Is there a rule somewhere I am unaware of that requires me to leave these offensive devices lying around for others? Do the birds need them? Rats from the nearby dumpster require dental hygiene? What? My next thought is; are these things really used dental devices? Have people ( again not sure I would call then this) really put these things in their mouths, between their teeth to remove food particles and who knows what else and then thrown them into a parking lot where (real) humans must now step over, around and be thoroughly offended by? What diseases might these creatures be carrying in their mouths that are now sitting in a public area? What kinds of people (guessing they may be people) teach their young to mimic or engage in this activity? I wonder if for just one morning, every person who ever picked their teeth with one of these devices woke up to a kitchen floor filled with every single one they used and just tossed aside and not into a trash can. Would they feel like I feel about it. Am I the only one this offends? Have my fellow humans become so accustomed to this sight that they now just accept it and overlook it?  Do others no even notice? Pick your teeth in a restroom and throw the picker in the trash!!! Really!!!!

What happened to the days of Emily Post and Miss Manners?  Designer purses and expensive shoes do not make you civilized.

Halo fiasco

Good morning,

I wish I had a greater choice of fonts. These all appear normal and I like it to be different. This is why I normally write my letter in word in some exotic script, which I later copy and paste over to here where it changes to normal, normal boring, more bored or normal. I have been writing breakfast letters for years now at first I emailed them and then I discovered the wonderful world of sharing them which I did on myspace in a blog. I had a following of about 46 on average. This surprised and encouraged me. They changed their format and my option of re-posting the letters to facebook ended along with my ability to see how many reads I had. I switched to  this site. Oh I still email out my letters and I still post them at myspace but I also put them here and now they are out there on twitter and facebook. No one of course reads them. That is fine. I just need to say things, share things.

GOD bless Tony. He calls me up and asks what I am doing and so he gets a very chatty, dramatic, rendition of moments of my day and he listens and he laughs and he does not try to fix any of it unless I ask. He offers no opinion unless I ask. He just laughs and suggests ways he could help with the oddest moments. I had an incident occur in traffic with not just one idiot, there were two involved and it happened one right after the other as though they had orchestrated it. I was so fussed up and these people so needed lessons on manners and how to treat people. Then I noticed they were rude and aggressive with the several other vehicles. This fueled my already smoldering fire. They needed an air strike. I called up Tony (command central) and left a message that I required and air strike on two separate targets. I felt so much better. Ahhhhhh He called back moments later and requested the coordinates and a description of the offending enemy vehicles. It was brilliant. I laughed and giggled and was giddy and grateful for the bad drivers for giving me a reason to laugh and very much grateful to Tony for realizing what I needed and how exactly to deliver it. Now that I think about it he does a lot of things how I need them. Being 2000 miles apart is challenging though.

Speaking of the enemy. My daughter is on her Xbox playing Halo. She is live but not really engaged she just wants to play and kill time until her friends can all get on and they can then create a force as an active hunting group. She ends up in a party of all guys. She can hear what they say (as can I and I am in my office). They cannot hear her as she has not engaged her head set. Shaggy is precise, she hunts her enemy, identifies them before engaging them. She is cautious. The group she ends up in is unorganized and uncontrolled. They see her behavior as weak and non-aggressive so they kill her (she is a team mate) over and over and over and make fun of her except these bone headed male creatures keep referring to her character as “that guy”, or “this guy”. They think she is a guy. They probably believe she is some nerdy little 8 year old playing with the big boys. The big boys are probably very scrawny stoners still in high school. Now for those of you who do not play Halo let me tell you this. The male characters are big armed, huge shouldered, thick in the waist very male shaped with a long codpiece on their armor. The females are very female shaped with a much smaller waist, more prominent hips and breasts and a very very small codpiece.  Had these Neanderthals been coherent they would have realized the vast difference in the body shapes. But that is not all. When a male is hit he makes a male sound. When the female is hit she makes a very distinct female sound. What sent me flying into motherdom over this is the Neanderthals called her garbage. She is NOT garbage! No person is garbage! Even they are NOT. I asked her to get out of the game with them. Somewhere out in cyberspace justice will hunt them down and destroy them. GOD speed!

Now back to more Ladylike conversation. Have I told you about my land in Scotland? I am Lady Tamara of Lochaber. Find it hard to believe? It makes it fun at team building exercises where you have to tell two lies and one truth about yourself. The photo I have attached was taken at the estate. Enjoy this thought for the day.