Tuesday, October 18, 2011


The wind is howling outside like a vengeful pack of werewolves. Different tones and pitches, trills and crescendos, moments of silence and sudden wails. You would think the worst artic storm of the century was arriving. It may be a cold front but it is still very warm outside. I had to check because the urge to light the fireplace was overwhelming. Those of you who know my fireplace are now laughing. So am I….at least I have a fireplace in the sanctuary of my bedroom….do you?
My dearest friend looked me in the eyes yesterday and in all seriousness said” You really have no idea what a beautiful woman you are do you?” I wanted to brush her off with a “Guhahhhhn” Like Liza in My Fair Lady. Very seriously I replied No and changed the topic. Beautiful women do not make a miscalculation in their bills and realize the water is about to be turned off. Beautiful women do not end up married to abusive cruel men or drug addicts or alcoholics. They do not have to create a nutritious delicious meal out of a bit of cream a can of asparagus, a lemon and some nutmeg because that is all the food that is left in the house. Things magically happen to beautiful women. They want or need nothing. Ahhhh….but wait, it was a wonderful delicate cream sauce over the angel hair pasta. Beautiful. Had I not married the drug addict I would not have lived in a bungalow by the beach. Beautiful.  Had I not married the abusive man I would have missed dancing on cold winter nights with the Aurora Borealis and hearing its tinkling song.  Beautiful. Maybe their light is still reflecting in my eyes and that is what she saw.
It is very difficult to watch your daughter loose her mind in a matter of hours. I know she has the ability to do this I have seen it, I have lived with it, she is my daughter. It is even more difficult when your youngest child is out of town with her. She becomes unpredictable, irrational and terroristic. I am glad she lives out of town. (Remember I have lived with her do NOT judge me).  Yesterday she had a very difficult melt down and left my youngest at a mall in a town where she does not live and knows only three people. My baby has been rescued and is safe in my home. Her belongings however are in the trunk of “crazy” child’s car which she refused to return. Blankets, pillows, hair and tooth brushes, her work shoes (very expensive) her badge (now she must pay to get another one) her clothes (including a few new items she bought to take to Cali with her) and her entire inventory of make-up which we had just purchased and was all still new and it was costly enough to earn us the $100 gift with purchase. That may seem like a bit extravagant for a teenager however I am Lady Tamara, remember,  Lochaber and we must look our best. So, today I must adventure over to the other side of town so she can repurchase cosmetics.  Who is up for a road trip?

No comments:

Post a Comment