This morning I, Lady Tamara of Lochaber, am having
toast and jelly with my tea. I do not have toast and jelly. I may have toast
and honey or toast and marmalade or jam but never jelly. It is grape jelly. Today,
when I wanted to feel powerful and strong I am feeling small, innocent and
curious in a very childlike way about what adventure my day may bring. I am
lingering over this letter as if waiting for Garnet, my Teddy Bear, to waltz
over, sit to tea with me and tell of how she saved me from The Grey Man last
night. I wonder if they serve jellies or jams at www.LochaberHighlandEstates.com
.
I was doing some volunteer work for
the Chamber of Commerce at their office. I am on the Taste of the Metrocom
committee. I am calling our members for donations for silent auction items and
also calling local restaurants to participate. I hear this little voice from
the Executive Director’s office “I need a brain”. What? She needs a brain? “I need your brain.”
Now she wants my brain? Sounds like a movie script featuring brain eating
aliens. Of course, just like in a movie
when you are watching it and screaming “NO!!! Do not go it is a trap!!!!” I get
up and move slowly to the door where I cautiously peek around the corner of it.
“I need to pick at your brain mine is not working.” She wonders why she is my “ex-wife.”
Maybe this brain thing should have come up
months ago. Her man loves her though and he may not care about her brain issues.
How many of us would love to hear our ex-wives or in my case husbands admit
they need a brain or even just to pick at ours? I giggle and ask how I can
help.
Fridays are coffee from Starbucks day
for Shaggy. She looks forward every week to getting a late` from there on her
way to work just on Fridays. I am not a fan, never have been. I prefer Its A
Grind. The junkies who frequent
Starbucks to get their fix and feel metropolitan are for the most part intense,
serious, unhappy, disgruntled and extremely selfish. I have never seen anyone
other than myself and my children express joy or childish abandonment at one of
these places. We pull serenely into the
parking lot to enter the drive through. There is a line out to the street. We
can park and go in so we proceed through the parking lot which is packed. I
turn around and ask her if she would rather go to the donut place first and get
her apple fritter and then return to Starbucks. Since it is just across the
street this is fine. We are attempting to leave the parking lot; I pull slowly
up to a blind corner that connects the drive through with the exit to the
street and inch my way to see around it. Psycho soccer mom comes charging into
the path to the drive through without even a glance in my direction. She did
not look right nor did she look left. She just dove for the drive through. I
apply the brake and stop several feet from where her monster SUV would have smashed
into me. She has still not looked around her. I lay my hand on the horn for a
very long moment. She is startled to see me there. As I am recovering from this
brush with death by coffee crazed sub-human another dim-witted sub human comes
racing into the drive through / exit road and seeing her blocking the drive
through he decides to turn to the left to avoid her not slowing down mind you
he sees me still now, desperately trying to escape the parking lot and still he
does not slow down he speeds up and swerves left to avoid her and right to
avoid me. It is just coffee!!! It is just Starbucks!!!! They are not going to
run out!!!!! It is not like they are giving away i-pads today!!! Yo!!!! They sell
it by the pound buy some and make your coffee at home!!!! Shaggy only drinks
coffee once a week. She does not drink it at home. This is supposed to be a
treat not an encounter with psycho coffee junkies. It feels like the scene from
Batman where Bruce’s parents are killed in the alley for a strand of pearls….
Surreal!!
Us tea drinkers are so much more civilized.
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