Garage Battle

Let me start with the first incident. On Saturday I clean the vacuum filter and go over the carpet in the dining room. As I move into the media room I come across a little orange ball. I attempt to gently nudge the ball aside to continue my vacuuming when the machine sucks the bloody ball up and then proceeds to make an incredible noise. There is no getting the ball back and there will be no more vacuuming and I have 5 people coming for Easter. I also now have the added expense of buying a new vacuum or paying to repair this one. Of course you already know about the bag of Easter basket goodies that did not make it home with me and the disgusting pork loin. I believed that my troubles were over but as you will soon see ……that was NOT to be.

My daughter who has been practicing her driving skills went a block from the house to the mail cluster boxes to retrieve the mail in my car.

 I am here sitting at my desk deciding what product to promote the following day when I hear a crash outside. I pause, oops Shaggy just ran over the trash can I assume. I go to the window and look out. I see nothing amiss. She gets out of the car and looks at the front end of the car and then looks at the garage door. I recall the crash I heard actually sounded like it came from within my house. If I was not a pale shade of olive skin before I am now. I go down stairs and out the door. “What happened?” I ask. “Oh Mom, Your car is fine”. What did you hit? “ I bumped the garage door.” Bumped? The bloody door is caved in and looks as though it is grimacing in pain. Let me just move on ahead to say first. This will be a funny story in a few weeks. It is not funny to me right now. My brother found it extremely funny. My brother is the husband in a two income family. If I had the money they do I would laugh too.

I have handled each battle since Saturday with grace and skill. No easy task considering each thing triggered PTSD symptoms. However the garage door incident has not been so easy. It became even more so when I learned it will cost a minimum of $549 to replace it. That may not sound like much but I make less than $1000 a month. So I have been challenged with an intense case of battle mode. I have shut down my human contact to the extreme bare minimum. I am inventorying my resources. Creating strategies. Making sure all my escape routes are clear. Playing out scenarios.  I am leary, distrustful, anxious, and I have already decided I am in red flag and there will be no prisoners. I have passed fight or flight. What surprises me is how fast I can go from I am all right to a very intense Warrior and recall every nuance of emotion from every battle. Every moment, every direction, every progress still lands me here. How much fight can one woman keep giving? When will I give up? When will enough be enough and I just lay down my sword and give up? This is the thought that terrifies me and I am fearless. I was planning a trip to the edge on Sunday. That always seems to be my cure. But now…. Now I have to buy a garage door.

If you have been trying to talk with Lady Tamara www.HighlandTitles.com and she does not seem to be hearing you, she is standing guard at her castle perimeters.

 Bagpipe is playing (thank you Jeff for being her piper) and she is watching.