Breakfast Letters: Tazas Live Artz

My friend Bryan calls and tells me he just has to share a story with me. He is a landscaper and in the middle of a job his mower dies. He cannot coax it into restarting; so in a bad temper simmering in depression and frustration he packs up and heads home. On the way home he calls his wife and fusses about how depressed he is, frustrated, his mower has died, why things are so wrong. She listens and calmly tells him she will be home soon. They hang up. He goes back out to the garage to work on the mower. He gets it started, loads it back up in the truck and his wife arrives home. She greets him and goes in the house where she quietly sits. Bryan is a bit confused about why she is home and assumes she has a Dr. apt and just wants to clean up before she goes. He finishes the job with the client and heads back home. His wife is still sitting in the same spot. He asks her what is going on. She asks him what is going on. “You call me at work, tell me your mother died and then go to mow a lawn!!” Bryan busts out laughing. “I said mower not mother.” She went back to work. This tale had me giggling all day.

There I am, driving through suburbia on my way to a client when I pause because I see a squirrel to my left. I slow down and he decides to change his mind and runs back to the left. As I start to accelerate a depraved, suicidal squirrel runs out from the right going about 47mph and dashes under my car.

I left off the gas pedal but do not stomp the brake for fear if I am going to run him over now I will smear his little carcass down the street and I could not accept that. Moving at a slow pace further along, I see him charging on across the street; healthy, intact and with all his parts. Relief.

Dude!!! You are in the right turn only lane. Two lanes over is the left turn lane. Your right turn blinker is on. The light changes and you shoot across two lanes and turn left. What the bloody hell is wrong with you!!!

My client has moved their office to a local college. I am driving around the place looking for visitor parking. I drive for about 7 minutes. NO visitor parking. So I head out into the parking chaos of students leaving campus and arriving on campus and walking from the parking lot and to the parking lot. It is like a Mall parking lot on Black Friday. Just as I see a spot and turn on my signal a boy sees me and slows down to gawk at my Cougar gorgeousness. A car behind him sees the spot and makes the turn into the spot I wanted. I am fussed up and as I tap on the gas two more boys are stepping up to my car to cross in front of me. I nearly killed them. This was NOT a positive experience. But I can with confidence say I have been there, survived and will live to return again.