Lance in pants

Yesterday morning I had set my tea tray on my bed and was doing a bit of work from a chair in my room when I saw a dark movement from the corner of my eye. There was Goblin with his face buried in my cream pitcher lapping away as though he had every right to be there. I scolded him and he just looked at me as though I was having some sort of break down and had become suddenly unreasonable. He then calmly started to clean his face. A dog at least has a conscience and will look apologetic. He is even now sitting cannot drink milk. Here is what I discovered. Most cats do not have the enzyme called lactase which breaks down the lactose in milk. It causes them to have digestive problems same as a human. Some cats can be given skim milk and some cats can tolerate cream. Cream is all fat and skim milk is not. Mystery huh? Cream being mostly fat has far less lactose, much less than milk. Goat milk also contains no lactose.

I so need this

As we pulled up to a stop light I noticed the hitch cover on the back of an oversized, lifted (we all know what that means) truck and it was a ghastly sight (further indication of the mutant quality of the owner I am sure).  There dangling from the hitch was a deer. Its legs all flopping at the movement of the truck, it was about 12 inches in height. There was a target on its exposed belly and every time he hit his brakes the target bull’s eye lit up with a demonic red light. So wrong!!!

To add to our entertainment of stop light fun we end up behind a Lance brand snack food truck. I love Lance.

 Their cheese crackers, Gold n Cheese is my favorite treat, I had a small snack bag almost every day for lunch in High School along with a Big Red. To my shock I read boldly printed beside a photo of a man’s butt in a pair of jeans “I got Lance in my pants!” 

Well of course you do sunshine!!!  Really??? I can just imagine he has a Lance in his pants or, at least he believes he does and I really do not want to find out. Was this a good idea? Do I really want to eat a snack that I am now imagining has been hanging out in the back pocket of some sweaty guy? It is 99 degrees outside and I am sure he has not been sitting down or it would have crushed the crackers so that means he is upright doing some sort of manual labor getting sweaty. NO I do not want to eat them now!!! Lance!!!!! My company could have helped you with this!! It is what we do.

All this chatter of lances has got Lady Tamara thinking of jousting so now she is going to go watch the movie A Knight’s Tale. She loves Chaucer’s Character.

Cheers!