Iron Panties

The things you can learn while sitting in a meeting. For example, both of the English ladies in the group confessed that they ironed their underwear. Always had and that their mothers and grandmothers did also. None of the other ladies in the meeting ironed theirs so I having been thinking back and trying to remember if my father, who did all the ironing when he was not off on a mission, ironed underwear and I just cannot. I will ask mother when I see her Saturday. I had to stifle a giggle as I tried to imagine my daughters taking an iron to some Lacey frilly thongs. 

Then I looked at each lady and tried to imagine them in thongs and that brought about a giggle as well. Believing that thong was not what they wore and the fact that they ironed them maybe they wore pantaloons.

 This brought about a giggle also. SO I settled on more of a tap pant type garment like those from the 1930 era.

It is a magical morning out my window. The sky is a tumble of soft grey with harsher darker grey rambling  through. There is thunder groaning, and rain is being lavished over the dry ground turning everything the color of jade.

 Like the jade of my decorative stone tree, greens and beige, dusty pinks and faded rusts, that has been polished so it looks wet. Over the thunder birds are chirping and the drops of rain add notes to the percussion. It is as if GOD wrote a cantata for me this morning that Mozart, in one of his more playful moods, has orchestrated. Beautiful day.

I have lost an entire sleeve of stamps. I had used 6 of them and the bloody thing has vanished. This is not acceptable and for reasons beyond my understanding this has me extremely fussed up. I remember they were on my bed I took one off and applied it to an envelope and ….. nothing. I have looked in all my bags, pad-folios, under the bed though my desk. Has some frisky poltergeist misplaced them? Bloody Hell!!!

I am wondering what theme to use next week for my Artz page and blog; any suggestions?

I am off to scramble some eggs, sizzle up some sausage and toast a slice of cranberry bread. Care to join me?

Enjoy this rain my friends, too soon it will be oppressively hot and miserable and will be that way for the next 5 months. But then most of you thrive on that don’t you?

Cheers!

Follow the Link!

I have been looking for a month for a tin of loose tea and have been unable to find one. 

I found one yesterday that says loose tea on the tin. Not loose leaf tea just loose tea. I bought it. This morning as I debated tea or coffee I opted for the tea and it is loose tea not loose leaf.

 So now I am straining my tea and feel a bit like a character from a Jane Austen novel. As though my name should be Lady Lavinia Rose Cabott and I live at Etchleigh Green. So I am still looking for loose leaf tea.

On our walk through the forest of Crescent Bend yesterday we could hear a flock of wild turkeys. We never saw them but they were being very noisy.  Of course the Cardinals were everywhere as usual but I also saw for the first time in the park a Scissor-tail Fly Catcher. It is no wonder that The Audubon Society holds monthly walks out there.  I will take my camera every day and try to capture some of these birds. Good practice for me.

Ranting time. To the stupid cow in the maroon SUV playing your hip hop music at full throttle, who drifted the curve screeching to a jerky stop  in front of me at the drive through and then was too cowardly to make eye contact with me as I politely (hahah) glared at you. GET BACK ON YOUR MEDS!!!!! What if I had been a bit more aggressive in pulling forward and had slammed into you. I did not see you until your brake lights lit up as you came to a stop as I moved. Had I been looking down into my purse I would have hit you and whatever had you acting psychotic would have increased your irritation and frankly I would have welcomed your ensuing rage at your own foolishness. Did it not occur to you that I could have written your plate number down and could be looking for you? Did it not occur to you that now I know you have a husband and three stick children? 2 girls, 1 son and a dog, and I also know your son is number 12 on his soccer team Thunder and you have a daughter in gymnastics.

Dear Abercrombie and Fitch,

You really do not want to sell clothes to ugly people. What is your definition of ugly? Who exactly is worthy and who is not? Is it a size, race, hair color, eye color issue? What is it? I wish to know so that I can save us both an uncomfortable moment should I walk in and be told I am not a beautiful person and should leave. Do my children make the cut because I wish to save them embarrassment? Or was this all some ugly rumor? I will save space and time here because this blog says it all very well.

Enjoy!

Wet Storm Shadow

Imagine my surprise when “Duke” is killed. He was one of the reasons I went to see GI Joe Retaliation

I had not heard one peep from anyone about this. There I am happily enjoying the film laughing and feeling good when he dies.

 I was not prepared for this. Of course there is no break in the action for grieving and so I stuck it out and to my surprise I was rewarded with a treat.  

Let me explain a brief of my back story. I am NOT partial to hairy men. I do not like it; do not like to touch them. It freaks me out and is repellent to me. This is good for my girlfriends who like their men hairy for we are not in competition for the same guy.  I do not like them overly muscled up nor do I like them scrawny, thin or boy shaped.  I do not like the hairless look of boys, so all those scenes of a shirtless Edward that had girls all drooling did not appeal to me.  Back to the treat that had me spellbound.  There he was Storm Shadow; shirtless, swords in hand and wet. My first thought was ….

 My second was “Duke” who?  Yes I enjoyed the movie.

I have an update on creepy guy. When I got to the park this morning he was waiting outside the gate for them to open it. This is the first time we had seen this. He usually shows up shortly after the gates are open. Now whether he is already parked somewhere obscure inside or just shows up after the gate opens is still unclear to us. When we got back to our cars he was sitting in a chair reading a magazine beside his car which had re-parked and backed into a spot.

My nephew was going to let me borrow his truck to take to the movie yesterday while he put on a new tire. I went inside made arrangements and he handed me the keys. 

As he was walking back to the shop a thought occurred to me. “Is it a standard?” Grinning with pride he says yes. Well now I have a problem. I am a girl and multitasking with the 1100 things on my mind and remembering to shift and clutch and gas and turn signal all at the same time is not conducive to the safety of other drivers on the road. So I inform him I will not be taking his truck and will come back after the movie. He laughs and asks if I am for real. Uhhh … yes! “Have my dad come and get you and drop you off.” Now I laugh. “And give my brother more weapons to harass me with for the remainder of my life? NO!” I tell them I will be back and when I come back I will bring Moola and shoot some photos of her at the tire shop. 

My nephew then shakes his head and asks why I am so weird. “Who is your dad? Well, he is my brother and I grew up with him and you ask me why I am so weird?” He nods in understanding. Santa, the man doing my paperwork just shakes his head in confusion. He will see.

People seem shocked that I go to a movie in the middle of the day and that I go by myself. I am shocked at this reaction. It is a private showing I reply; I am a Rockstar and have the entire theater to myself. They still stare in disbelief.

My walking partner is going out of town for 10 days and since creepy guy is there I will not walk alone. Anyone want to join me? Maybe I could strap on a dagger or two, a sword and take along Urie my other weapon. Maybe my bow and some arrows and pretend I am Robin Hood. Hahhaha

I  will be calling you, my friends, today for items for the Silent Auction for the golf tourney. Answer the phone!

Ninja Spider

What is it with these psycho little spiders everywhere? I am nearly murdered by one as I am getting a shirt out of a drawer. He was quick like a Vampire and could shape shift. 

As I was at my dressing table applying lipstick he made another attempt on my life. Unfortunately for him he landed on the white bolster pillow and I was able to stun and then murder him back. Then, this morning as I open my Devotional book to read, another spider makes an attempt to murder me. He took refuge on a white blanket and after stunning him I murdered him. I usually rescue them and put them outside but these two ninja Vampire spiders were trying to kill me and well, I just can’t have that!

At least they were tiny and not huge like the night I killed 8 adult wolf spiders in my living room and two scorpions. It was like some B rated movie come to life in my house. Was there a detour sign pointing in my direction that night? Was there road construction on their regular route? It was insane!

Why is it we go to the store to get supplies and always come home with half of what we needed and a few things we did not?  Now I have to make another trip. How do you not remember you need toilet paper?  While I am sitting here remembering I did not buy any I am also remembering I did not change the time on the office door to reflect that I will not be there until late tomorrow.

Ok gardener guy…whacking the grass and shrubs and then blowing them off the sidewalk does not clear them from the porch!!!! There is a mess out there! You would not see this type of careless disregard in California. Speaking of leaf blowing… as I was driving to the park to hit the trails for an hour or so I see landscape man with his leaf blower working at blowing the grass spread by the mower from the drive and parking lot of a little 3 store strip center. That would not have been so bad but the wind was blowing at about 25 knots that morning and they only thing he was getting done were blowing away wisps of grass that the wind kept blowing back at him. But there he stood fanning his little wind making machine back and forth over the same spot. Uhmmmm..

Creepy guy was at the park again this morning just sitting in his car. He got out as we were walking toward our cars and wandered down a distant path. I saw him as I was leaving standing in the middle of the path starring at his phone. Maybe he is a bird watcher? Maybe…. I think I will copy down his plate numbers just in case. It is weird there is a blanket always on the seat beside him and his back window is shattered. Today it looked as if he had shaved. Creepy guy!

Getting a new tire today!! So excited!!

Nunu Nasty

I have, through a simple game of “What is in your purse?” at a 31 party become an independent consultant.  

I had managed to collect a vast number of tickets and mine was drawn to receive free shipping on a product selection designed for new consultants. I had been debating the selection just for the shear product volume for the price. I had just about made up my mind to not get it when my ticket was drawn for free shipping. Miss S actually had to repeat the number 3 times before I noticed it was mine I was so engrossed in shopping for something else.  I had no design on being a consultant but through divine intervention here I am. I am not sure I will actively pursue this; home parties are not my “cup a’ tea” but I will certainly let my friends and family in on my secret career. 

Great excuse for hosting a party and inviting friends over for lavender margaritas.

I have been writing my nephew letters a couple times a week when he sends me a note explaining he cannot read my handwriting. I have now compared my writing with my grandmother’s handwriting and mine is perfectly legible. My grandmother had the uncanny ability to write like every word was a map of America. There would be a huge flourish for the first letter of each word and then a slightly curvy line in the middle sometimes one hump crossed because it was a “t” and an occasional hump with a dot over it as though it was a lower case “I”, ending in another flourish of her pen. So you could tell what letter started each word and what letter ended each word and were left to guess the middle. He is lucky!

I stayed in most of the weekend chasing ghosts from Lancashire which I am slowly discovering after 18 months of research may not be mine. So, I backed up to work backward in time and to acquaint myself with aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters of ancient relatives looking for more clues. I came across an elusive Elizabeth. She shows up as a daughter perhaps born in Virginia or maybe in Indiana after hours on Sunday and not being satisfied. I start looking for ever Elizabeth Gibson in Edward County the last place rumor says she was. All I really had was she died in Edward County with no date no other information.  Her parents had moved to Clay County Illinois so I started there.  I then came across and old book with the name Selina Elizabeth Gibson, 2^nd married a Shurtleff and died in Prairie Buck, Illinois. I checked and not one contact I have has her name as Selina. But then later in the book it mentions her mother Eva and her father Jacob. I had found her. So Happy!!

I must get my walking sandals on and head for the trails. We saw a Cedar Waxwing on Friday what shall we find today? I will tell you what I saw. Creepy homeless guy; he drives out to the park and sleeps in his car all day.

One more thing; you moms out there who pick up your babies nunu (pacifier) after it falls to the ground, pop it in your mouth to clean it off and then shove it back into your baby’s mouth…..really???? Let me guess you do not wash your hands after your own toilet let alone after changing your baby’s diaper or picking up dog shite from an accident on your floor either do you?  You watch your little toddler struggle to stay seated on the toilet by grabbing a hold of the toilet seat to balance and then you march them off to eat a sticky peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Did you stop to wash their hands? No?? Well then just serve them food off the toilet!!!!!  What do you think hand soap is for to decorate? Because it has a fish on it and so does your shower curtain?

I just switched shifts with a volunteer at the office so I have to go.

Happy hand washing!    

Texas Truck - NOT

As some of you may have figured out I am writing a weekly blog for the Artz Council.  A different theme/topic each week for holidays or history or things I come across that I am curious about.  I then search for art, paintings, sculpture, music, dance that are an interpretation suggesting my theme. I have been asking artists’ permission to use their art and for the most part they are helpful, encouraging, eager to oblige and pleased. I have not been told no but not every inquiry receives a response.  I love this; art, socializing, education and creativity some of my favorite things all in one client.  I bring this up because of the response from the artists.  I was not sure what to expect, maybe more negative, but each response surprises me in a positive way.  Take a look at our page and follow some art links to some amazing art and warm people. 

Now,  female creature!!!!  The speed limit is 40. Slowing down for that turning car would have been nice. They were dropping their child off at school.  Then you turn on a signal (nice!) pull over in front of me into the turn lane and low and behold my brakes worked. GET OFF THE PHONE AND PAY ATTENTION!!!   Bloody Hell!!!

There was more in store on this morning adventure. … The speed limit is now 45 and we are all zipping along when the pickup truck in front of me brakes at some water on the road.  Not a swollen creek, not a huge puddle, just a wet road. We all slam on our brakes while this truck creeps through the 20 feet of wet pavement before speeding back up on dry pavement.  This is TEXAS, you are in a TRUCK, drive it like a Texan fool!!!!

Hillary!!!  Your disrespecting Mrs. Bush is NOT, I repeat NOT acceptable. You should be ashamed of your behavior. On public television no less. We saw it!!! If I had named a child Hillary I would be engaging an attorney and legally changing her name so no one would mistakenly believe I had named her after you!!

More adventure coming up I am sure. What are you adventuring toward?

68

I had been thinking about where I had been; the adventures, escapades that brought me here and thinking….”what was I thinking?”But tonight I am thinking… I have some amazing tales. Some I will never mention again and some I am thinking “Bloody Hell that was fun”.  It is true I have romanticized some but that is the sanity in me coping with what was surely something very wrong. 

To all of you who wonder if you ever cross my mind…. You do and I hope you are happy.  To you who I first smiled at while we were both at the post office…. That day was one of the best. Just know that!

On to more serious matters.……

If Lucas Ian Mac Gregor-Bells marries Ilena Abigail Hatcher-Sutton and they have a baby Phoebe Ann. Is her name really going to be Phoebe Ann Hatcher-Sutton-Mac Gregor-Bells?  Then she marries Mickey Joseph Lewis-Pepper does she become Phoebe Ann Hacher-Sutton-Mac Gregor-Bells-Lewis-Pepper?  Then she marries Jacob Austin Howe-Lough-Given-Stanard.  She is now become Phoebe Ann Hacher-Sutton-Mac Gregor-Bells-Lewis-Pepper- Howe-Lough-Given-Stanard. When does this madness end?  Girls!!!! Either keep your last name or don’t.  Do like your great great grand relatives and use your last name as a name for your child. The chances you are the last remaining heir to an ancient line of nobility is slim; and if that were the case your husband would take your last name.

On another note I saw the Guinness truck turn into the parking lot of the First Baptist Church down the block yesterday.  When I attended there we did not drink beer. I may have to start attending there again. I am sure it was not for the Sunday morning service but maybe Sunday night?

Finally, to all of you people in Texas who claim that the heat of 111 does not bother you but the cold of 68 freezes you unto death; please explain this. You spend 92% of the dreadful spring/summer/fall season in Texas in your homes with the air-conditioner set at 68 and 92% of the winter in your homes with the heat set on 78. Uhmmm…..Why is it ok to be 68 in your home and not 68 outside? 68 is 68 no matter what time of year it is inside or out!!!!!! It makes NO sense!!

I am setting out to gather golf door prizes. Cheers!