Other Brother hahaha

Did I also mention that my Mad Hatter French Press is now dead as well as the teapot. Yes the carafe inside the press broke while I was washing it. It has a teacup on top of the plunger and the case is cutouts of Alice.

 My daughter had bought it for me at Disneyland. It came with very un-birthday tea. I am saddened by this event and am wondering what all this tea serving tragedy is all about. Is it a sign? Does it mean anything? Do not even say “It means stop drinking hot tea!” I just bought a box of sugar cubes for tea and if I cannot use them in tea then I must use them for Absinthe and that stuff is expensive!

I want it to be known that I LOVED The Lone Ranger movie. 

It was charming, as in the curious little boy at the Wild West Showcase. 

It was funny, as in the band came back all bandaged up after the two trains departed. It was decadent, as in the Madame had an ivory leg everyone wanted to touch.

It had revenge, as in the trade for the watch. There was intrigue and whimsy. That is my favorite, whimsy. I would change my name to Whimsy if I did not like the one I have. Johnny could also be a Whimsy, Whimsy Depp. I could not believe two and one half hours rolled by; I was having so much fun. I was very disappointed when it was over.

Kirby Sattler paintng that was the inspiration

It was a brilliant use of the theme music, the William Tell Overture during the final train scenes. I do not understand any, ANY, of the mean spirited criticism that people heaped upon the movie. I can only surmise that those people have lost their joy. Maybe they never had any; maybe they do not understand joy. This movie filled me with joy, happiness, it was a grand adventure and I had an enormous amount of fun. I was transported and actually is that not what they are supposed to do. Take us on a journey. If I wanted a documentary I would hook up some cable and stay home and watch TV. I wish it was out on DVD already so I could buy it and watch it again and again and again. I am sure there were plenty of little things I missed. But I did see the trade Tonto made with the red and white striped roasted peanut bag that the wide eyed boy in the showcase was carrying, for the girly cards at the grave sites of one of the rangers. 

On my door when I left yesterday was a note from management. It was not there earlier. It says that my rent will increase by $56 starting September 1. If I choose not to accept the new terms and sign a year lease again my rent will go up $156. I say I need to move again. The carpet in here is about 30 years old and I know they have no intention to change it unless I move out. I am still plagued by the giant bee/wasp/hornets that live in the ground outside my front door. I have told them about these varmints and still pest control has not gotten rid of them. It is me and the Borax every night sprinkling it on the new holes they burrow up. As I searched all over the local area online last night I discover that most places want a pet deposits of upwards a $700, and an additional $10 - $50 in rent for the pet. Hey Linda is your little cabana available? 

I did find a house in Maine near the beach for rent. I am VERY tempted.

Going to make coffee now. 

Teapot Lament

I was driving down the boulevard at the suggested speed limit when I see to my left a car pull up to the stop sign and then proceed on to making their turn. I had to apply a good size amount of pressure to my brakes and slow down. The daft creature driving did not speed up. Much to my irritation it crawled on along the road almost slower than at the speed at which they made the turn. I would have pulled to the right to pass but my turn was to the left and we were not far from it, It slides over into the left turn lane at the turn before mine and I am happy it will no longer  cause me a hazard. So I speed back up to the suggested speed limit and the dim-witted creature just continues to drive along in the turn lane well past the turn all the way to my turn. I had to again apply brake pressure so I could maneuver into the turn lane. The light is red so we (I) wait. After a pause the creature turns left and continues on down the road. But not me, the light, you see is still red. Drunk? Stoned? Grief stricken? My favorite… in love?

Do you call it a couch, sofa, or divan?

Divan comes from the Persian word diwan. A long seat formed of a mattress against a wall along which pillows are placed. Sometimes the mattress was positioned on a frame or a raised dais.  These seating structures were normally found in council chambers where politicians or royal council would gather to discuss matters of state. In Persia the council was called a diwan. 

Sofa is from the Aramaic word sippa meaning mat. It becomes suffa in Arabic meaning carpet or divan. It is a Turkish word and ended up as sofa.

Couch is from the French word couche, which comes via a verb that means to lie down. Couches were intended for reclining.

Sort of makes a regular piece of furniture sound so much more Romantic.

My faithful teapot has died. It has dissolved into a 1014 cracks fissures and piths. I loved that pot; it was white ceramic and came with an insulated metal warmer and my misty green Chinese silk tea cozy fit on it beautifully. I am pondering ideas on a proper burial for it. I am leaning toward pansies being planted in it. 

Meanwhile what to do? This morning I opted for a silver teapot that belonged to my mother. Part of a tea service my father bought for her from a shop in London. There is water stained note, written with a fountain pen in the bottom of the pot that says James Drain & Sons, cerico 1875, Floral Re`pousse`

Very NOT enlightening. However  it does sound like a mystery. Meanwhile, I need to either find a tea cozy to fit the silver teapot or the china teapot or buy another teapot to fit the existing tea cozies I have.

I wish all my troubles were this trivial.

Cheers

Noah is Comfort

As was suggested to me I went to the outside book return and examined it inside and out. No note. However one of you suggested that the return address was the clue and I would find the answer there. 529 Genesis. There is a chapter 5 verse 29 in Genesis and it reads…….

And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed. The name signed on the letter Noah Sarke now looks much like Noah’s Ark. Now, a verse about Noah bringing comfort and the LORD cursing the land (must be why it is so bloody hot here in Texas).   I looked up the name Noah and one of the meanings was repose. The name on the envelope is R.E. Pose.

Well, that just cleared everything up! I still have a key to nothing.

I have 149 photographs I need to sort through from an event I shot so, I will go and relax and do that and maybe this whole Noah thing will sort itself out. Everyone is doing a wonderful job of offering suggestions. Thanx!

One more thing….you two Jersey Shore wanna-be’s. You may think you look young, hot, and sexy in your wife beaters and board shorts. You may feel that you have the driving skills of Jimmie Johnson.

You were in a burgundy minivan!!!Young hot single guys do NOT drive burgundy minivans!!

Also guys you graduated college 6 years ago GROW UP!! One more thing you bloody pair of idiots, Jimmie would not have performed that stupid stunt at a stop sign. Real men would not have vacated their vehicle and run and hid inside a store. Face your opponent you bloody cowards!! I allowed you the opportunity. I pulled right up behind you and stared at you. But you, driver boy, as soon as I drove on you got out of the minivan and walked as fast as you could without it looking like you were running into the store leaving your laughing buddy to stumble along and practically have to run to catch you.  Let me guess you “men” bought Miller Light and some Yellow Tail chardonnay. Wal-Mart is calling you!!!!

Find? Return?

Bloody cat just jumped up on the sofa and started licking the butter off my muffin. Disgusting!  Cat slobber on my breakfast!  Now she looks like a dog that just ate a spoonful of peanut butter. She cannot stop licking and licking her mouth.  Hahahahaha

So, I get to the library and head to fiction and sure enough there was the book Artichoke’s Heart. I opened it up and flipped through the pages. I glanced up and around the aisles. Not a soul was watching. I tentatively reach my hand up inside the plastic sleeve and there I feel a piece of paper. It is stuck to the sleeve like it may be on a sticky note. I tugged. It came loose and I withdrew my hand. On the note neatly printed was this… find it in the return. I check the book out and head to the office.

Find it in the return? Return what? The key? The book? I have no idea. Nell shows up at the office to do a meds inventory with me and I launch into more of this mystery with her. She was with me when I found the key. She suggests we return the key in the morning and see if there is another clue at the post where we found it. 

I arrive at the park moments before Nell. We both get out and walk across the park trails about a mile to the spot where the key was at. There is nothing there. We both look around the post, at the post and nothing. She asks if I brought the note. I hand it to her. Maybe, she says slowly, you are supposed to return the book. Not at the book drop box but to a person in the library and maybe, they will have another note for you. Maybe….

I stopped by the library before hitting the office and she took the book, smiled at me and asked if I enjoyed it. Yes?.... She smiled. Do you have anything for me? No Ma’am the computer shows you returned the book. Thank you.

Well what should I return??   Bloody Hell!!! Anyone have any idea? What does this mean?

Noah Sarke

The key was upright in the post. Stabbed into the grain of the wood; erect as a flagpole. Hard to spot if you did not know about it as the fat, black, head of the key was not facing the parking lot. All your eye saw was the landscape; the perpendicular trees and tall grass behind it, blending together and hiding the key in plain sight. 

I knew it was there.  I had been told about it in a letter that came to me.  I must at this moment assume that the name Noah Sarke is not a real name, not a true identity. But the letter is real, the key is real.  

The key is a golden brassy color.  Average in appearance, it is not shiny bright as though it was new, neither is it tarnished or mystifying me with a patina finish. It is just a key, a key that could open any number of things, a lock, a door, a locker maybe nothing.  I am to take the key and go to the library and check out a book called “Artichoke's Heart”.  Inside the sleeve will be another letter.

It is with mixed emotions that I am embarking on this adventure. Curiosity is what drives me.  I have no idea where my fear has gone. It seems to have deserted me. That alone should cause me a moment of pause.

Who has done this? If I mix up the letters in the name Noah Sarke will I find the answer?  Why did I open a letter from someone I did not know? I was expecting an invitation to a Bridal Shower and thought this might be it. The envelope was creamy and contained what I believed to be the invitation.  The return address says R.E. Pose 529 Genesis, Gentry Texas.

I will go to the Library and look for this book. 

Presidential Attorney

Dear People who are also ghost hunting. Let me point out that you can NOT have a black and white photograph of a man born in 1687. You just can’t. Oh wait…. the Aliens that had the crystal skulls took the photo right?

                                                                                

Photo of James Francis Frame 1687-1754

There she was all geared up with expensive running shoes, wind shorts, tank, fanny pack and water bottle walking down the street not 2 feet from the sidewalk.  I found that bizarre. But, what I saw next was even stranger. She leapt up on the sidewalk, started a jog, took 4 strides then hopped back off the sidewalk and cut across the street at a diagonal about 15 feet from the intersection and started off jogging over a very lumpy gassy area by the street.  Pick a direction, pick a surface and get to it sister.

Little man in the little truck that is jacked up about 6 feet off the ground….really?? You needed to make a left turn, swinging all the way over into the far right lane to make a quick loop back to your left to get to a location immediately to your left? Uh…. Why not just turn into the lane closest to you which would have been the left lane and make your turn from there. Why all the theatrics?

My daughter and 3 friends invaded my home at about 2 this morning saying they were camping overnight and heading for the beach the next day. Oh yeah and can I leave the dogs with you mom? Uh…NO! Thanks Mom, wake us up early. Be back on Tuesday. They were gone by the time I got back from my morning hike. Now I have to leave 2 dogs and cat in my home for 5 hours and remember to lock up the trash, close the doors to the guest room and leave no food out for the dogs. Gucci is even now hiding under a chair and Isis is staring at me from beside the front door. Goblin has been complaining and grumbling at me in his irritated cat voice. My child has called me from the road twice now to tell me that her car keeps dying. They are pulling into an Auto Zone to have it looked at.  Her adventure is fast becoming my adventure.

I have a very distant relative who lived in Virginia and guess who his attorney was in a lawsuit filed by a neighbor accusing him (my relative) of adultery. Here is a hint…he was fresh out of law school, eager, energetic and acquainted with my family.  Another hint….. The year was 1768. One last hint…. He was our family attorney for several suits, petitions and appearances. Ok …. One more hint…. He won and counter-sued the neighbor for slander and won that also. 

                                                                    Thomas Jefferson as Secretary of State, Portrait by Charles Willson Peale, 1791

Thomas Jefferson! Yep! The man who became president was my people’s attorney. Because that is who we are!  The details of the case were plainly written in Jefferson’s own hand and preserved for all to read about. That is a little embarrassing because the neighbor described what he saw and experienced in great detail. I mean explicit detail right down to the wet (this part was marked out and was removed and smeared). Did he really put his hand on it?

Ladies, word of warning. Do NOT let young teenaged widowed brides live in your home. You too could lose your man and good ol’ Thomas is not here to represent you.

Cheers!

Just a Puddle

She walked out of the building as I was walking by, ohhhh it stopped raining she wailed…. The sun is out she said with anger. Uuughhhh she moaned. Can’t we live somewhere else she whined? At last, I thought, one of my peeps! Because, I was thinking the exact same thing in the exact same tone.

Sweetheart!! You live in the country. You drive a truck. It has been raining for two days off and on.  Swerving your truck into my lane as I am driving in it to avoid a puddle is not well done! Really? You would risk our lives in the hope that I will slow down or stop so you can avoid driving through a puddle?  You are NOT in a cozy little suburb of Chicago. You are in Texas, the wild west, we still have unpaved roads.

Quit calling my other children and trying to form up a team. They do not care. You have made it very clear to them you are NOT a team player.

There was a small stain on the carpet when I moved in it was light and about the size of an apple. Now it is much darker and the size of a football. What the hell is it? Some kind of creepy ghost stain? Blood pool from a previous murder? Oozing toxic poison from a secret underground storage facility? What is it? There is one in one of the bedrooms that is doing the same thing. It is creeping me out! It is like a Dean Steven King-Koontz novel is happening in my home.

I have an appointment to get my neck looked at today. I took my car in to be appraised yesterday. I had an appointment at 10:30 I finally saw a human 20 minutes later. Why schedule appointments? They looked over the damage and went to write up an estimate. They will call me and schedule me in to repair the damage. Ok so call me already!!! Posters all over the place with your logo claiming your customer comes first. Really?? I do not feel first. Is your back up sensor malfunctioning?

Have to get ready for my neck doctor.

Have a blessed day. Watch out for the other guy!

Death by Mother

Did I tell you that my mother attempted to kill me? She did. It all started when she gave me 2 cans of tomato paste and 2 cans of tomato sauce before she left, telling me they would expire while she was gone and I should use them. Saturday morning I opened the sauces and poured them into the crock-pot  I applied the blade of the can opener to a can of paste and it exploded, sending tomato paste all over the opener, the counter, and my hand. 

That was not right. So I checked the expiration date and it was 2010. I checked the other can and it was the same date.  I then decided I had better look at the date on the sauce cans and they expired 2012. I picked up the can of mushrooms she had also given me and 2011 it said. Remembering she had implied that the church and my brother were getting the bulk of her estate upon her death I called my brother to let him know that their evil plot had failed. He laughed. This did not actually set my mind at ease.  He continued to find the entire thing funny until I reminded him that I had thrown out several bags of expired food items when she moved and that we probably should be concerned about her health. She does tend to hoard.

On to an interesting tale.  I walked up to the doors of the theater. There are two sets of double doors side by side at the entrance. There was a couple in a line going out one of those sets of doors closest to the cashier. They were holding the door open and standing in it. There were no humans at the other door. I wondered for a moment if the door was locked. Being a pirate, (and somewhat rebellious) I pulled the handle and the door opened. I giggled. Both doors lead to one line. I walked and stood in a space where the line would have been had the couple been inside;  but left a space indicating that I acknowledged the humans standing in the open doorway letting in the heat and out the air-conditioning. They looked at me as though I was the most unusual creature they had ever seen. Wisps of hostility smoked through their gazes. The couple looked at each other and then back at me.  I thought briefly that they would figure it out as they were an older couple and appeared to be intelligent. Mistake on my part. She turned her body toward him and he turned his toward me. Both eyed me warily but still with hostility. I smiled. I gestured and spoke the words “come in, it is much cooler in here.” I am sure it was in clear concise English but they seemed to have to translate it into their native tongue and still looking at me with hostility declined and said they were fine. Uhmmm…. You two are standing in a doorway holding open a door allowing two temperatures to mingle in and out. Do you do this at home? Did you allow your children to stand in your doorways between inside and outside for 10 minutes or longer?  I looked at the people who were inside, in line ahead of them and said very clearly “I just thought they may want to step on inside and close the door, they are letting in the heat.” The people in front of them grinned and turned to gawk at the couple who now looked embarrassed and as she moved further in he grabbed her arm and said loudly “we are fine”. Of course I said as I nodded my head, grinned and raised an eyebrow at the people ahead of them line. One of which giggled, a few smiled and one gasped.  Just then a man stepped in line behind the outside couple. I motioned him on in through the other door he declined. I said past the odd couple it is much cooler in here and you standing there holding the door open does not do much for the temperature of us in here. Good point he said and excused himself around the odd couple. After he came through they came on in and closed the door. There, now isn’t that so much better I said. Everyone but the couple agreed. Other than to provide me with entertainment I fail to understand why that couple just stood in the doorway like that.

I must cut this short there is a huge muscle spasm in my neck today.

This morning as we hiked our usual trails we must have encountered over 40 centipedes wandering over the gravely paths. Very creepy….

My car was attacked!

When you are in your bliss it seems the only direction you can go is down and so to avoid this, an adventure was conjured up and off we went. Abby and I, to gather exotic and tempting dessert options for the upcoming Gala we were planning.

 Today is our meeting to sample and taste. Our mission accomplished we were headed back home when at a crossroads in the middle of a downpour of rain, a man walked along the railroad tracks crossing the street, just as the light changed. I released my foot from the brakes and then immediately re-engaged it just as the man crossed in front of me. However the male creature behind me who was not paying attention to traffic or the world around him, realized the light had changed and launched from his stopped position directly into my bumper. I remained stopped as the slow-witted buffoon walking the tracks stopped directly in front of me to gawk at us with an ever widening grin on his face. He slowly raised his arm to wave at us. I am not sure the reality of his idiocy even sunk in; for he seemed haphazardly unaware of the wreck he had just caused. He gaped at Abby and I as though two angels had descended right in front of him. I am sure my look was one of disbelief. I now had to pull off the road and get out of my car in pouring rain and deal with this fender bender.

The male creature walked about the two cars in the rain with a smug look on his face and I was fascinated to hear what story he would tell the police. I was not to be disappointed. He told them that the light had changed and I moved and then slammed on my brakes and stopped for no reason thereby causing him to slam into me. He painted a picture that looked as though I had decided to create an accident on purpose. He sounded so innocent. When the officer came to question me I informed her that yes indeed, the light had changed but I had yet to move forward. I had stepped off the brake saw the man on the railroad tracks and pressed again on the brake so as not to hit him. Abby confirmed the telling of the story.

She saw the light change and a man walk across the road on the railroad tracks stopping directly in front of us. The car directly to my left could not move forward as the light changed either due to the man on the tracks just stepping out from in front of him.

Today I must deal with insurance and get my car to a repair shop. There is a hole in the bumper and it is scratched up as well as the back-up sensor now beeping continually every time I put my car in reverse. So off to pursue this new adventure….

If that was not enough for Abby, her grandmother went into 24 hour hospice yesterday not 20 minutes after I returned her home and she had to then make the trek to Dallas.

Digging the accident report up now. Cheers

Smile For Me

The police car came charging down the drive slammed on his brakes in front of my home and then….. Nothing. He just sat there. He is gone now, must have been just a 15 minute stake out.

In honor of Bastille Day I had pasta made in Alsace, marinated artichokes from France, chocolate almond swirl cheesecake (I made it myself in a spring form pan no less!) and a Pinot Blanc. All of this while researching my Cheuvront ghosts and planning a weeks’ worth of Bastille paintings for the Artz Council.

The chimes on my porch that normally hang in stoic silence started clanging like joyous church bells.  I opened the front door believing that some impish brownie or fairy folk had discovered the clapper and was ringing his people to my porch. Then I noticed the sky had gone grey and my pot of Impatience was no longer on the porch but was lying pot-less at the curb and the pot was nowhere in sight. The wind had worried itself into a gale. I was hopeful for a lovely shower on a hot and dreary summer afternoon but the rain never came. Just as it did not come last week as the thunder rolled.

I bought a bouquet of orange gladiolas last week that have just a few un-bloomed buds at the top. They are starting to look tired and a few are bending over. The lime green chrysanthemums I bought before that are looking a wee tired as well. I suppose I shall go on a flower adventure today and see what other lovely bouquet I can conjure up to decorate my home. I miss that the most. The flowers that can be had so cheaply at the farmers market in Saratoga.

I would come home with fresh vegetables, fruit and bread. Roasted chicken and arms full of flowers. There was a vase full in every room. They know how to have a market in Saratoga. There were many vendors of vegetables, fruits, flowers, bread, honey, soap, exotic medical herbs and potions, kettlecorn, the roasting chicken truck offering a variety of flavors all turning on rotisseries. There was always live music and it felt like a country fair; an event, not a morning of shopping. I miss it. I miss fresh food and fresh flowers.

I hate to tell you this nephew but I am running out of colored ink and these letters may very well start showing up in black ink.

As I was driving to the park for my morning hike an amusing event occurred. I take 114 through town which has a speed limit of 40 and then it drops to 30. Traffic was moving at a nice little clip and I was leading the pack, not by choice but by design.  They had to stop at the intersection while I had a green light which was green before I got to it so it was not I who tripped it. As the traffic caught up to me, which means they were speeding already the speed changed to 30. I slowed down. I have lived here long enough to know they mean it.

I could tell the car behind me was NOT happy so as soon as he could he moved and started to pass me. At that moment for some reason I looked over at him. He had rolled his window down was scowling a most angry look in my direction. As he turned his head further and opened his mouth I smiled my biggest smile and said Hi! He looked taken aback but managed to recover enough to maintain his scowl but nodded at me. I have no idea what he was about to yell or do but he drove on as I continued to smile and sing along with the music in my car. I am not sure I will call it a win but I will say Mischief Managed!

I will leave you with 3 words…..

Joaquin Cortes……sigh…….