Panty Line

I opened the fridge and got out a vanilla yogurt; I layered it in a bowl with some granola, added some mace and mixed.  I then went to get the honey and there was none. I was like a crazed Mother Hubbard tearing through my cupboards. Now I am looking at what should have been a delicious treat and it tastes like bitter sour cream with crunchy bits. I just had my third spoonful and I am NOT eating it.

Yes, please show me photos of overly skinny, fake breasted, tanned, toned, young women on a beach at a resort to inspire me to want to go there. REALLY?????  Show me an empty beach, luxurious rooms, well prepared food, fine wines, solitude. However…..now that I think about it, being surrounded by beautiful women will keep the dogs in a pack and away from me, might even prove to be an interesting show. I can sit back, relax, and watch the hunt. This could work.

Imagine my surprise! I am ghost hunting this weekend, as usual. I am looking through Find A Grave at all cemeteries in a certain county for all family members who may be there, and there are over 76. I am cross referencing with two other sites when I come across two initials C.L. and the last name Max. In parenthesis it says ( H.o. R.E.) dates of birth and death are blank, lovely…code! I skip it and go to the rest. I will come back to it. Further on I find a grave R.E.Max (w.o. C.L.) dates of birth and death are blank, I have no R.E. Max. I keep going.  I finish up and of course this has led to a few puzzles along the way. So I jump in and start solving. I am looking and looking for a C.L. Max. I find a copy of a birth certificate which gives me a name. I google and I get over a thousand hits all with one thing in common, the name of a funeral home, Max Funeral Parlor.  Lo and behold there is a photo of the owner alive and well and ….oh look! There as his lovely Vice President Ruth Evelyn Max! They live in Ravenclaw and the name of the cemetery is Ravenclaw Rest. They are the only funeral facility in town. They are NOT dead. They have a plot picked out and gravestone already set just needing dates. But wait there is more….. There is an ad on the google search page right next to all the C.L. Max hits called Humanoid. Things that make me go...hmmmm

Chica!!!! You are a very pretty girl. You have wonderful hair and a lovely shapely figure.  Loose the panties or get a sausage casing.  You looked like several link of sausage. Your breasts were trapped by a bra a size too small, jumping to a little curve of the rib cage narrowing at your waist over your hips and screeching to a halt at the top of your panty line which looks as though they may be two or even three sizes too small. A bulge immediately under the top panty line and then we can see that they, the panties, are about to be eaten by your butt near the top and there below the bottom of the panty as it is being swallowed by your butt is a bulge of butt cheek. We are a restaurant and this was not attractive!!! Or appetizing. Do you not have a full length mirror? Was there not one at the store where you bought the clingy grey dress? Do you live alone? Was there no mother or father to help you?  If I was not imprisoned between four other people and a wall I would have whisked you to the Sandbox and pointed these things out to you. Women! Other women do NOT approve of your panty lines!! EVER!!! Men need only to imagine the panty line or lack of. They are not supposed to be allowed to see them. EVER!!!! I know some of them like it. It is a bondage fantasy…feed their fantasy in the bedroom not in a restaurant!

The results of the Haggis hunt have come in and Lady Tamarawww.LochaberHighlandEstates.com will not be going to Scotland, nor did she win a bag of Haggis flavored crisps, nor a Scotsman Calender.

Well, I must be off to contact Bo he has not turned in his registration form yet for The Business Expo. Are you registered?