Can I just say Homemade (not in a package)
blueberry oatmeal is the best! Especially after and early morning walk in the
brisk chilly air. Sprinkle it with a few flax seeds for some added
texture..mmmm.
I was the lucky recipient of a ticket last
night. Why you ask? Well, because the little tiny light above the license plate
on the rear of my car was burned out. How was I supposed to know that you ask?
Well that is what I asked officer Smedley. And do you know what his “professional”
opinion was? “Well…” Yep and that was it. That is what he said…”Well…” I looked
at him and said “exactly!” He was a very flustered and nervous policeman. He
was stammering and stuttering and words were not coming when he opened his
mouth to speak. It was very eerie. Like maybe he was a clone or the Borg or one
of those “creation” people from Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein series. You know
from the batches created in New Orleans that go awry. Maybe it was because I
was calm and relaxed and not freaked out and that freaked him out. He walked up to my window and claimed my registration
was expired. Really?.... Well as you and I both know I took care of that on the
4th. So I smiled and informed him that NO it was not, he said yes it
was and pointed his little flashlight right at the sticker and there to his chagrin
was written the date 12-12. Did you just get that he demanded. Now of course in
my head I am thinking “yes, why yes I did. I whipped it out of the sticker machine
in my backseat and slapped it up there just 35 seconds ago.” I take a breath to
weaken the giggle and tell him no. That is not good enough for him. He demands
in a shaky voice ( I am sure he was attempting authority not 14 year old boy
asking a 15 year old girl out on a date voice) to know when. Not that this is
his business mind you. I have a current one and that is all he needs to know, but
he is drowning, so I tell him I got it on the 4th. Well he mumbles
and I say “2 weeks ago”. He shakes his head no and then looks at his watch and
then says “maybe”. Maybe??? Maybe what?
He then wants to see my driver’s license and insurance. I hand them over he looks them over
extensively. He then shoves the insurance back at me claiming it is expired.
Now I know very well that it is not, it
expires 2-12 and I had to present a
current one in order to register my car. I already have the new one that
expires 8-12. I put that one back in my wallet and pull the exact same one out
of the glove box and hand it to him. These are expired he claims. I sigh, that frustrated girl sigh, the one we
reserve for boys who are being stupid. “No
they are not. I could not have registered my car with an expired insurance
paper.” He shoves the insurance card and
me and points with his little flashlight at the date and there in black on
white it clearly says 2-12. Oh he says.
Oh? Really? Just oh? “I am going to run your license. Remain here.” Like I am
going to drive away? Run off? Have Scotty beam me up? Dash off Batman and run it. Well I am sure he
ran it through not only city, county but probably state. Homeland Security is
probably running a thorough check on me as I write this. Interpol is looking at
me via satellite. He wrote me a ticket and advised me to be early for
court. Fix the light and bring the
receipt. Really?? I do not know how much this fine will be.
Since I have a negative balance in the bank I figured it does not matter
anyway. My court date, Valentine’s day.
Somehow this seems so appropriate.
Did he not know whom he pulled over?
I am Lady Tamara!
Maybe he did and that is why he was so
flustered. Bloody good this title served me then!
My advice to you ….check the little light
above your license plate and be sure it is NOT burned out!
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