Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Slum Lord notice


I did not do anything yesterday with my car and my car trouble. You may feel free to call me a coward. I did not go anywhere so why venture out into the rain? I did leave last night for a visit 3 miles up the road to my mother’s home. Today I do have plans, I do want to go somewhere and the plan involves my daughter.

But wait there is more. I opened my front door last night to leave and a note fell fluttering to the floor. Apparently I am to be evicted in three days. Yes it has come as quite a surprise to me also.  The note is extremely rude. Let us pretend I know what it is about and I have purposely not paid for whatever the $33.81 is for. The note is rude! The truth is I have no idea what this is about. But it was 5:30 when I left my home and the office was closed so the note loomed like Godzilla 

in my home all evening and night. Yes good going wretched slum lord your evil plot to cause me undue and undeserved stress worked to a smaller degree than you supposed. I in my own dastardly scheme purposefully failed to pay you $33.81 in the middle of winter in a mad attempt to coax you into evicting me. Yes that is what I have done. I have never been late with rent. I report problems so they can be repaired instead of leaving things in a state of disrepair. I lived here before you bought the place and turned it into a haven for….  
Whoa that was going to go ugly. Whew!!!! Vinegar or Honey people!!!!
Maybe I can rent a car. They deliver them right?
Should I put on my bee keeper hat to go to the office

 or my Trojan helmet with the red feathers? 

mmmmmm

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